Aug 8, 2015
We were a bit worried the night before that we might sleep
in because we only had our phones as alarms – and weren’t sure if the battery
would be ok overnight. We needn’t have worried – as camp started to wake up,
there was no way anyone could sleep in ha. We woke up and as soon as I was
coherent enough to form a thought, I could feel the excitement start building.
Today was the final day!! I said a little prayer that I could stand up after
the previous day’s 113k ride…and we threw on clothes and quickly headed out to
eat then come back to pack. The breakfast area was buzzing with people waking
up and chatting about the day to come. I wasn’t as nervous about starting – I
was actually itching to go – but I did briefly wonder “what if I can’t
finish?”. The thought left as quick as it came. It was just impossible to have
lingering doubt that morning surrounded by my teammates. And Phil.
They had gotten me this far, they’d get me the rest of the
way.
Nigel got a team pic at the start line and off we went! it
was 7:30am and I was pretty wide awake considering! About a kilometer or so in,
you start to go up a huge hill out of Okotoks…we joked maybe that’s their way
of making sure everyone is awake!
That first stretch to the rest stop seemed to take forever!
I was so relieved when we got to Black Diamond…only to discover the rest stop
wasn’t there!! It was at Turner Valley! I knew from the reverse route that it
was only 3k away – but that 3k suddenly felt like 30. A few teammates had
mentioned how the first part of the day goes by fast and the very last stretch because you know you are coming to the finish line but that the middle was
tough…So I was a bit worried that I found the ride to the first pit stop so
long…but was instantly reassured when we met up with other One Aimers at the
rest stop who felt the same! We ran into Keri and Cam who were riding together
again that day and we all decided to ride together for the day. Cam is another
One Aimer who can do no wrong in my books. When I first saw One Aim all that
time ago at The Mall, and they reached out to me after via my blog, Cam signed
up for my Run For The Cure team. He hadn’t even met me, yet he signed up to run
on my team! I got to know him and his awesome wife Keri a little over the
summer when I would meet up after the odd Tues night team rides to have a beer
(in all my bald glory). When the time came for The Run, Cam ran with me the
whole 5k – which took me over 45min to complete. He could run a 5k in his
sleep… It was like Matt’s action of putting my name on his flag – he was
instantly raised to hero status in my eyes. So the fact that we were now going
to ride the rest of the final day of my very first Ride to Conquer -
together - was immensely special to me. Especially since this was their 5th year
– the year they got their Golden helmets. On your 5th Ride To Conquer Ride
you get a Golden Bike Helmet to commemorate your 5th year. So if you’re
ever watching and see people with Gold bike helmets, you know they have done at
least 5 Ride To Conquers!
When I was training, I had felt the benefit of “drafting”,
where you ride about a tire length behind the person ahead of you. It makes
them work harder, and makes it much easier for you to recover and catch your
breath, even though you are still pedaling. Phil has let me draft him a time or
two, but we are still learning how to do it properly, so you get the full
benefit. As we left Turner Valley onto the next rest stop (which was near
Millarville) we were hitting that long stretch of road that, the previous day,
felt like was never ending. The good thing was this time it was a gradual
decline, so it was a much easier go. Cam and Keri are good at drafting –
so they took us under their wing, and off we went. There were some long
stretches where we were just flying! It was amazing! I was getting a bit tired,
but as long as I stayed “on” the wheel in front of me, I could keep up no
problem. Cam was at the front for the most part, and working the hardest. A few
times I “fell off” the wheel ahead and noticed that it significantly decreased
my speed and significantly increased how hard I had to work. For me drafting
was not about speeding through the Ride (you’re not actually supposed to draft
– but I think that’s because when you get a lot of people drafting who are going
crazy fast it just can get less safe if they are not careful with that amount
of other riders on the road) I’m not sure how I would have made it through day
2 without drafting, just so I could catch my breath. It was about recovery for
me, not speed.
By the time we hit the 2nd rest stop, it was starting
to get hot again. The day before I had forgot to put sunscreen on my legs…and
got a terrible looking riders burn!! The burn lines…uh tan lines, were awful
(though admittedly funny), and my lower thighs were hot to the touch all night
long and blazing red. So I was making sure I slathered sunscreen on at each
rest stop – all over any exposed skin. Rookie mistake I guess! After grabbing a
quick bite and some water, we were off once again. This next stretch would take
us just past Priddis to the Lunch stop…We all left together, but as we neared
Priddis I found myself on my own (I was getting tired by this point) Phil and I got separated when he stopped to help Keri with her lost waterbottle. Phil
thought I was ahead of him, when in fact I was just behind so he raced to the
Lunch stop so we could ride in together…as I was nearing the Priddis downhill,
I was trying to catch up to Phil and the gang. There was a rider behind me, who
kept getting pretty close, so I was pushing myself to keep ahead and not get in
their way . I finally moved over so they could pass me, but she followed behind
me…as we were about to go down the hill she called out “I’m just trying to read
your sign”. Oh! As we got to the bottom of the hill, she came up beside me and
said “I just read your sign. You are an inspiration!” and took off.
I cried all the way to the lunch stop.
When I got to the lunch stop I had just gotten my tears
under control. I was hot and hungry, and emotional likely because I was so tired.
I also knew the hardest part of The Ride was coming up. I looked down to see
where to put my bike, and saw Emily. I wasn’t expecting to see her.
I burst into fresh tears (ya, I must have been really
tired….)
I tried so hard to stop them because I didn’t want Emily to be
upset or confused as to why I was crying. But I couldn’t. The just kept
spilling over. So I just hugged her tight, and kept repeating to her
“they’re just happy tears Emmy, Mommy is so happy you are here…they are just
happy tears, don’t worry, Mommy’s fine, I’m just so happy to see you”.
She just smiled, hugged me back just as tight, and said “I know Mommy”. And
patted my back. Which naturally produced more tears lol
Quite a lot of the One Aimers were at lunch that day, as
were Phil’s parents. We chatted as we ate and tried to stay out of the sun to
cool off. I was mentally preparing myself for the next most
challenging part. It had the “Bragg Creek Hill” which is a monster of a hill. I
heard stories how last year some people got sick at the top! Yikes!! Drafting
would not help me here – hills are kinda “everyone for themselves” because
everyone goes at their own pace on hills – especially challenging ones – otherwise you
might not make it up. Most of the hills on The Ride I met up with Phil at the
top, as he is a stronger rider and could get up faster. I have to say, having
Emmy show up with Phil’s parents was a huge boost.
I decided this next stretch would be dedicated to Opa and
Ray. I would need to dig deep to get through this next part, and they would be
the ones to get me through it.
When I was going through treatment, specifically chemo, I
got through it because really, what choice did I have? It was either do chemo, or
die. It was horrific but at the time I did what I had to do. But it was one of
the hardest summers of my life. For me, and for my family.
When I started to get active while going through chemo, I
would dig deep by thinking about how awful chemo was. I’d try to remember the
fear every time they put a needle in me and turned on the chemo. I’d force
myself to think about how awful I’d feel in the days after. How it was nothing
compared to what I was feeling at that moment running, or working out or
holding that tricky yoga pose. I’d think of a beach from the Greek
Island from our honeymoon and breath through it, knowing the uncomfortable
feeling would end soon and I’d feel great afterwards. That I was choosing to
put my body through these aches and pains, whereas for chemo it was not a
choice. I’d pep talk myself into visualizing tiny canser cells exploding with
each step, each bead of sweat…And man it worked wonders!
But while on the most challenging leg of The Ride, although
I started with that mental place, it wasn’t enough. So my thoughts moved to
much more powerful motivators.
Opa and Ray.
I thought about Ray sitting in one of the 3 chemo rooms,
having drugs pumped into him that would potentially land him in hospital, as
they had numerous times throughout his treatment. I thought about him sitting
in that blue or green chemo chair, looking out the window at the Tom Baker and
likely wishing he were anywhere else but there. Especially since his treatments
usually took most of the day to complete. I took that sadness and pain I felt
thinking about Ray and turned it into anger, and ultimately energy to keep me
going. I thought about Opa – sweet, sweet Opa - and how he shaved his
head so I wouldn’t feel alone when I had to shave mine, even while he was going
through his own chemo treatment at the time. I thought about how he must be
feeling after making the decision to forgo a more brutal chemo regime because it
wasn’t guaranteed to work, and if it did work, wouldn’t be life saving, just
life extending but would likely drastically reduce his quality of life. The
chemo that was his last option for his worsening prostate canser. I thought
about the physical pain he likely faced every day since the canser moved to his
bones. Pain he had no choice over and only drugs to help with. My discomfort on
the hill was nothing compared to that. Nothing. It truly made me “suck it up”.
I looked only a foot ahead of me and with each pedal stroke,
it was Opa. Ray. Opa. Ray. They were my mantra, and before I knew it, I was at
the top, and over the (arguably) hardest hill of The Ride! I had a lump in my
throat, tears in my eyes and I sent a silent “Thank You” to both Ray and Opa
for helping me.
It was also pretty wonderful to be greeted by a dancing Lisa
at the top. She was hopping around and cheering all those coming up the hill.
Lisa is Martin’s wife, and also a One Aimer who couldn’t participate in this
year’s Ride due to surgery. Martin is a One Aimer who organized and put on
CANSuffer, as a Ride To Conquer Fundraiser, and who also holds a special place
in my heart. Because of his fundraiser, One Aim came into my life. Martin was
one of the people who directly reached out to me via my blog at the time.
Martin is also a VERY strong rider. He races and has taken part in some of the
hardest races in the world. I have to admit, I was a bit intimidated to think
of riding with him since he is a whole other class of rider. But he is so
incredibly encouraging, and has a heart of gold – I would gladly ride with him
anytime (even if he only ever sees “slight inclines” when everyone else sees
monster hills ha….). So does Lisa. They are a wonderful couple, and awesome
people. They also have the smallest dog in the world…but I digress….
I was much slower all the way to the last pit stop in Bragg
Creek. Keri and I pretty much stuck together, and Phil and Cam were ahead of
us. There might have been some (or a lot..) of swearing up some of the smaller
hills lol But we made it to Bragg Creek and grabbed quick Gatorade and
then had to jet right away because they were opening the road to the motorists,
so those who didn’t leave before that had to wait another 20-25 minutes or
so…By this time one of Cam’s legs was cramping up pretty bad. We stopped so he
could stretch it along the highway leading out of Bragg Creek. He had also
grabbed some drugs at the last rest stop. But nothing was working. I was worried
he wouldn’t be able to finish. The last leg is mostly all uphill once you turn
onto Springbank road all the way to Canada Olympic Park. It’s also over 30k. I asked Cam if he
wanted to flag down a vehicle, but he was adamant about continuing. So he
started to peddle – with one leg! If I was looking for motivation to keep
going, that was it. If Cam was going to attempt it one legged, I sure as hell
could finish with two! And if you can believe it, he was still a stronger rider
with 1 leg than we were with two!! It really was inspirational to watch him. He
never complained. Never asked to stop. He stopped when I needed water, but that
was about it.
When we hit the last quasi water stop (was literally just
some water jugs on side of road lol) and turned onto Springbank road, we were
pedaling along – Cam still hanging on with one leg – when a team of “pro”
riders who were riding in a group asked Daryl the medic and fellow One Aim
teammate what was going on with Cam. Daryl filled him in: His leg is cramping up
, but he doesn’t want to get in a vehicle. He’s determined to finish – even
on one leg”. The rider pointed at Cam and said “that is courage right
there”, rode up to Cam, put his hand on Cam’s back, and pushed him all the way
up the last remaining hills, till they got to the bottom of the last hill up to
COP. The road to the Finish Line. Cam waited for us to catch up (ha! That’s how
fast they were going – Cam had to wait for us!)
I have to say that was one of the most memorable parts of
the ride for me. It exemplified what the ride was all about. From Cam’s spirit
to the other riders’ selfless act of helping a fellow teammate (no he wasn’t a
One Aimer but really everyone in the Ride was on one team – Team FUcanser…)
As we neared the spot Cam was waiting for us, we rounded up
Elaine and John, Jennie and Dan, Diane, and Brian, and decided to all ride in
together. We grabbed Cam and off we went, tackling the last kilometer or so to
get us to the Finish (which was natually all uphill lol). I thought about those
who had come out to cheer us on at some point during the 2 days – some with
signs!– My parents, my kids, Phil’s parents, our friends Tammy, Dave, &
Marv. I thought about those names on my flag – their faces, their stories. And
I thought about where I was last year and how far Phil and I had come, despite
all we had been through. I thought about my teammates who were behind me,
beside me, and those who were waiting ahead of me, at the Finish
line.
And then we rounded a corner, and as we were coming down the
hill, I could see the Finish Line and the hoards of people cheering!! We made
it! 236 kilometers later, we crossed the finish line, with fists pumping in the
air and huge smiles across our faces! It truly was an EPIC moment! The
adrenaline was pumping and as soon as we stopped, the tears started. I was so
overwhelmed with emotion. Kinda like the start all over again, but 100x more.
There were hugs all around. Phil first, obviously, then
those we had crossed with and those waiting for us. Then Nigel came over and
gave me a huge hug, which I am so happy to say The Calgary Sun caught on camera. I
think that picture speaks volumes of the moment. I was crying and I think even
Nigel was teared up. It was a very emotional moment. Then I saw Dennis and got
a big hug from him too. Dennis is a One Aimer who after hearing about the Mall
incident, ran Joe’s Triathalon in my name the summer I was going through
treatment. It was the first event I went to to cheer on One Aim and I was
touched beyond words that he would do that before he even met me. Then, like
Cam, he signed up and ran alongside me at The Run that fall. Another hero in my
eyes with a permanent place in my heart.
After Crossing the finish line and hugging my teammates
immediately afterwards is something I will never forget. My heart felt like it
was going to burst from the happiness and team pride I felt.
When we signed up in October, I had finished chemo but still had
surgery and radiation to do. I hardly had any hair and didn’t know how
effective the chemo had been. I was terrified of surgery and worried about
getting radiation. But we decided we were going to do The 2015 Ride To Conquer
no matter what – which is why we signed up before I was done treatment (another
silent finger to canser) - and we did it! All our family and friends and
coworkers and even strangers who pledged money allowed us to take part in one
of the most memorable weekends of our lives. The 2015 Alberta Ride To
Conquer raised over 7 milion dollars. Those pledges raised money mostly for
research so we can find better ways at fighting canser. So we can have more
yellow flags and no riderless bikes. Our training and dedication got us to the
start line, but our teammates helped us cross the finish.
I looked up to the sky and thought of my Dad and hoped I did
him proud. And hoped he knew that he was not forgotten, and would continue
to be close to my heart every time I got on my bike.
I will never forget my first Ride to Conquer.
If you have a few minutes, I put together the below slideshow because there were so many pics from training and The Ride to include in my blog! It doesn't work on mobile phones for some reason, but will work on a computer.
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