Jan 1, 2021
Leave it to me to take a leap with both feet and bare my soul less than a week before the world goes into full shutdown for a pandemic...
In March 2020 I wrote and published 2 blogs, and the third one (before this post) I wrote but didn't publish...next morning I got rear ended, ending up with a mild concussion and by the time I could look at a computer without turning green, we were in full lockdown. To be honest, how could I share my story of struggle when now the whole world was turned upside down? There was enough suffering to go around without adding my own to the mix.
At first for us not too much changed. It was like a cocoon being in lockdown - those first few weeks we enjoyed the slower pace of life. We even had a schedule for the kids and a points system for earning things like screen time or junk food (pinterest Mom anyone? Closest I've come ha)
But as anyone knows, 8 months is a long time to live apart. It seemed like on social media that people were doing ok. But I wasn't. The stuff that started me writing my blog again was still there - except now I had the perfect reason to pull away and to disconnect from friends. To hide the pain. We were all in this together, but I was sinking before Covid and I didn’t feel worthy to share that with anyone - after all everybody now had their own corona burdens.
But something amazing happened on New Years Eve. A few people told me they were struggling too - with some of the very same things I was struggling with! I think talking to each other may have been the first time we said anything to anyone (it was hard to do for me!) - and I could have cried with relief that these same people I pulled away from, still love me. That it's not just me - and whether their struggles started with Covid or it exacerbated them doesn't matter. We connected again, and it flipped a switch deep inside.
So today I woke up, and did another hard thing - I took our dog for a run! (I HATE running and have done very little for a LONG time exercise-wise) And I felt happy to sweat...and that I didn't drop dead ha.
I did another hard thing today posting my previous blog on alcohol.
The first day of a new year is a good day for hard things I guess š
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