Sunday 11 April 2021

Blindsided on Some Idle Monday

Well 2.5 weeks ago our lives changed again!

Nope not cancer.

But my 11 year old daughter Emily got diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes...its not in the family, so it was a complete shock...

Let me start from the day our world was rocked..

Emily got 2 vaccines on Thursday afternoon at school  She then slept all weekend which didn't concern us too much because it was listed as a side effect. She had also been more tired about 2 weeks leading up to this point, and her appetite was off. I was starting to wonder if there may be an eating disorder - because how could she not be hungry almost all the time? 

Anyways so she slept basically all weekend. Sun around 11pm the vomiting started. Now I was wondering if it was a stomach bug, or could it be a reaction to the vaccine? Its been like 4 days so seems late but maybe...She and I are up all night and she is throwing up pretty much every hour and is insanely thirsty. She actually sneaks water in between, which she can't keep down.

Understandably she's exhausted the next morning. I take a day vacation from work because I'm so exhausted as well. Oh and Phil had all 4 wisdom teeth out on the previous Wednesday under general anesthetic so he's still on heavy pain meds and still recovering.

We finally get to the point that she's keeping pedialite down. I'm only letting her have a sip every 10 minutes. Then we graduate to 1 shot every 10 minutes. She's begging me for water but I don't want her to throw it up. I notice one time as she walks to the bathroom in her underwear and sports bra that she's lost weight. Like she's skinny - and not in a good way. Now I'm more worried about an eating disorder. Her face is pale and her eyes look sunken. She looks gaunt.

I'm super worried.

I decide I'll call our family doctor and get her in this week and go from there. If she suspects the same, we can go from there.

Around 1 pm or she goes in the bathroom and is in there a while. She's up to 2 shots of pedialite every 10 min and has had a few slices of banana to see if she can keep that down. So far so good. 

We have hopefully taken a turn for the better now!

Then I open the door to the bathroom, and she's sitting on the toilet (as a seat not going to bathroom) and looks kinda dazed.

"Em are you ok? Shall we go back to the recliner to sleep?"

"I can't. I just want to sleep. I feel like I'm gonna pass out..."

She crawls onto the bathroom carpet and closes her eyes.

I'm immediately concerned.

This is NOT normal. Something is very wrong.

"Em, is it time to go to the hospital?"

She nods.

Panic sets in. Do I call 911? I've been up all night - am I in any shape to drive? Phil is still on pain meds so shouldn't drive.  With Covid only 1 of us can go with her - what if she passes out in the car?

I call our friends Kyle and Aimee, panic slowly rising. Aimee is a paramedic so I ask her. I've been on hold for over 10 min with 811 and its telling me the wait time is longer than normal due to covid.

Aimee asks a bunch of questions then calmly reassures me she doesn't sound in imminent danger but yes she agrees Em should see a doctor. Likely at least severe dehydration, so she can get some fluids by IV.

I start to cry.

She talks calmly and assures me its ok to call 911 if I can't drive or don't feel comfortable driving. She looks up wait times for me and all the hospitals are over 2hrs but urgent care (10 min away) is only 30 minutes. I ask if it should be Children's - she again reassures me if Em needs to be transferred we can get an ambulance ride there from Urgent care. We decide on Urgent care to get her in ASAP.

Em needs Phil's help to get down the stairs - he's almost carrying her. My panic continues to rise.

We load the whole family into the car. We call parents, and ask Phil's to meet us at urgent care to get him and Ethan.

Em needs a wheelchair to go in because she doesn't have the strength to walk or wait in lines. I keep telling myself its all going to be ok, its just cause she needs fluids and was up all night.

My stomach is in knots.

There is a line up now. Apparently everyone decided they needed urgent care. I scan the crowd. No one else looks as bad as Em.

Its comforting and scary all at once - we should be seen quickly.

We get to the admin nurse and after bp, questions, she pauses, tells the other nurse to get a bed ready.

My stomach lurches.

I'm texting Phil, Andrea and the parents in a group string.

10 min later, we are called to the back. We are going into a covid isolation room because of the vomiting.

They immediately get her an IV. She barely responds. Em is terrified of needles. I'm even more worried from her lack of response.

They take blood, ask for urine sample when she can, poke her finger and hook up her IV with fluids.

Finally something to help!

Then the nurse starts asking about diabetes.

What?

No, its not in the family. Yes, she's been drinking more, but we are big water drinkers. hmm, ya there was fruity breath, but that was from her not brushing her teeth well enough with her braces...Well ya, she's been tired the last couple of weeks, but she's a tween so that's normal right?

Right??

The nurse pats my hand and says the doc will be with us shortly.

I text Phil.



Doc tells me they are gonna see what the bloodwork shows and go from there. She's dehydrated and the fluids will help

Ok. Makes sense. I text Phil.

An hour or so later the doc and nurse come to see me. Its maybe 9pm now. 

"So Emily will need to be transferred to the Children's"

Time stops. It cant be good if they are both here to tell me that?

"We can't confirm, but suspect that Emily is diabetic..."

My heart shatters and I burst into sobs. WHAT???

The nurse is patting me, Em is out of it and the doc is slowly talking but I'm not hearing any of it. 2 lovely paramedic ladies show up with kind eyes and speak slowly and reassuringly. We are going for an ambulance ride. Oh Em an ambulance ride! She sleeps on.

I text Phil. I don't want to be alone. He's at home with Ethan.

I HATE COVID.

He calls the parents to update them and has to explain what he can to a very scared Ethan.

I'm loaded up with Em in a snow storm into the ambulance in complete shock. I don't know much about diabetes.

But I do know since the pandemic we have been eating badly.

This is all my fault. She is paying the price because we got lazy?! 

OMG I'm the worst parent ever.

I ask the paramedic "we haven't been eating well. Did I do this to her?"

She looks at me, takes my hand and says "This is not your fault. This isn't about eating or foods or diet. It's genetics, viruses etc and not preventable."

Tears fall down my face. But I wonder if she is just trying to be kind. Isn't diabetes when you eat too many sweets? Bad food? Not enough good stuff? it's not in our family - I must have done something wrong. I must have been feeding her the wrong thing. The guilt fills my heart.



We get to the childrens and go into the ambulance bay. Its warm and dry. I follow Emily's stretcher with the paramedics. We stop as they transfer all the info to the nurse at Children's. 

I'm tired. And scared.

So scared.

We get into a small room. Em sleeps through all this except when they do conscious checks to make sure she knows where she is and who she is. they added insulin at Urgent care just before we left.

She looks a tiny bit better. Heart rate isn't as quick.  I try to lay down in the chair but I'm over tired now and my mind wont shut off. And the guilt.....

Docs come in, tell me she's in DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) which is serious but not uncommon with kids who are first diagnosed. Her sugars were at 20 and normal range is 4-10 (holy shit - even if I don't know what that means exactly) She is Type 1 diabetic (tears) which is an autoimmune disorder where her own body has attacked the beta cells who produce insulin in her pancreas. She stopped producing insulin so now her body can't absorb the energy from any carbs she eats (insulin acts like a key) so her body started to burn the fat for energy and produced key tones in her blood which made her sick. the insulin is already helping, so that's kinda how they can confirm if its diabetes. 

Its not my fault they say - they still aren't sure what exactly causes it but ask about auto-immune diseases. They run in Phil's family so she may have been at higher risk and we didn't know.

Is it really not my fault?! Could that be true?!

I cry again.

They tell us we will be admitted shortly, likely for a few days. She has type 1 which means insulin dependent. She will need insulin for the rest of her life. 

OMG. What does that mean for her?

3AM we get brought up to a room that has a daybed for me! She gets a 2nd IV because her levels of potassium and phosphate are all out of whack too because of the DKA. She's now hooked up to like 5 IV bags.

She looks so small in that bed.

My heart is breaking but I can close my eyes for a few hours because they are checking her every hour. 

Thank God for Alberta Children's Hospital. We are safe here.




No comments:

Post a Comment