It's amazing what a few hours of sleep can do. I got about 3 hours and woke when the nurse came in for bloodwork.
Em is perkier and squeamish about getting bloodwork - a good sign. She had been woken up every hour. She's not a fan of finger pokes, which they'd been doing pretty regularly since we got to Children's.
Breakfast comes and my wonderful girl says she will be ok for a few while I (literally speed walk) to get a mocha down the hall to bring back. We are on the 4th floor and its so handy having a coffee shop on the same floor! I go grab one (with extra whip!) and head back.
The doctors come in. They check on Em and start talking to me. Once Em is more stable, (her blood sugars that is) we'll meet her Endo team...
Who?!
It's the team that will follow her until she's 18. Dietitian, Endocrinologist, Nurses and Psychologist (social worker too if need be).
Jeeze she's got her own medical team! Guess diva runs in the family lol
The Doc's tell me there will be learning in the clinic and to have Phil come.
Hooray he can join us!!!
We are still awaiting Emily's Covid test, so are still in isolation (she can't leave the room until it comes back negative). We don't have to wear masks while in her room - which is really nice.
Small victories, but I'll take them where I can get them. I feel almost manic - immense relief that I don't have to do this alone, and try to relay the info to Phil. I talk to Phil. He tells me he broke down last night when telling Ethan and Ethan cried too. So Ethan slept in my spot in our bed.
Not sure who was more of a comfort to who. My heart feels better that they have each other right now and me and Em do too.
I text the parents, call them and Em sleeps.
She eats a bit - no more nausea! Yay!
She has a TV too so we put it on as background noise but she's bagged still and sleeps. When she's awake she's so alert. My panic has subsided some.
I text my boss. I can't even think about work. He tells me not to worry, he'll keep the team updated. My whole world is in this room so I'm thankful for him taking care of that for me.
Phil arrives and relief floods through me.
Shortly after the diabetes nurse comes in to teach us She brings 2 pens that have needles on the end.
These are Em's pens. She'll need 4 shots a day - 2 of each kind.
Oh God.
We will give them to her.
Ug.
We can start practicing while in hospital so we'll be comfortable when we get home. She has a whole bag of stuff. She shows us how to open the insulin package, and add the vile to the pen, and how to prime the pen by clicking 2 units and pressing it out. She tells us we have to always confirm the dose with another pair of eyes.
Oh God. We are gonna be responsible for shots? OMG there's a cloudy and a clear one - one is long acting, one is short acting but how will we know when to give which one?? They just seem to know. I know they are different, but there's no list...how will I know which to use when??
How do the nurses keep this all straight?
We are given a log book to keep track of her numbers and doses. OMG. So much to remember. What if we screw up? Her life is in our hands.
There's ketone sticks that we have to check her urine when her blood sugar is over 14. The nurses have been making her pee after each finger poke because she's way over 14 still so that part I can remember. But everything else?
Why is this happening to Em? A few days ago our lives were just chugging along. Now its needles and 4 shots and carb counts.
Carb counting?! OMG
Everything...there's "free food?! How will we keep this all straight?
We got a big green binder.
SO. MUCH. INFO.
When the nurse is explaining the 4 shots, Em pales.
"4 shots?!"
I see tears in her eyes. My heart hurts. Oh babygirl how I wish I could carry this for you...
By the time supper comes the nurse asks if we want to give Em her shot. We ask if we can watch. Finger poke first. They give us a kit for that too...finger poker (less hard than the hospital one - finer needle!) a glucose monitor and test strips.
Em is not wanting anymore pokes. I can feel her stress rising.
We get the finger poke done (the nurse does) but now there's tears and she's adamantly refusing to get the insulin poke.
This is awful.
Will we have to hold her down when we are home? OMG I can't do that to her....but she'll get sick without insulin. We are in a no win situation.
The nurse convinces her to get it and its done! She made it look ok. Except for Em not wanting the poke...how are we going to get her to let us do that 4 times a day?!
Her dinner appetite is great - she finishes almost everything. What she doesn't eat they "replace" with juice.
OMG so many things to learn. How did they know what to replace? With what?
Phil, Em, and I chat and when it comes to the bedtime shot, Phil volunteers to do it.
I watch in awe. I'm nervous. He looks calm. It's done!
Phil leaves and I crawl into bed with Em. We snuggle and watch TV and talk. Just us girls. Feels nice and safe laying here together. She's not tired.
It's almost midnight but she's spend most of the day asleep.
"Wanna go for a walk?" I ask her.
"Now mom?!"
"Ya, why not?"
So we get up, put slippers and shoes on and sneak out of her room like naughty children and walk around the unit. We get back, she lays down and very shortly is asleep.
I have a GREAT sleep on the daybed.
I think the first, albeit tiny, spark of hope was lit tonight.
As long as we are together we'll get through this.
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