The Ride To Conquer cancer: If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you - Part 2 (of 3!)

Aug 7, 2015

I’m surprised I didn’t swallow any bugs with the huge open mouthed smile that was plastered on my face. We were really doing it!! The team had told us about the surge of adrenaline that you get at the start of the Ride and to just watch your pace because you don’t want to tire out shortly after you’re out of the gate…I think my surge of adrenaline lasted all the way to the first pit stop lol. We had stopped to help Reece who got a flat tire 6k into the ride – but he and Phil told me to go ahead and they’d catch up..they are both much stronger riders than I so I carried on because I figured I’d just slow them down once they were playing catch up. I waited for them at the first pit stop, which was just over 15K into the Ride.

I almost cried again as I pulled into the first rest stop. There were all these people cheering and whistling and holding signs along the path into the stop. Some were volunteers who were dressed up in all kinds of crazy garb, some were just regular people out cheering on the riders, holding signs for “their person”! I saw my teammate Keri and we chatted excitedly (well maybe it was me doing the excited chatting lol) and used the port a potty’s and grabbed some Gatorade and snacks. A number of our teammates told us they stop at all the pit stops – even if it was only 5 minutes - and grab either something to drink or eat. So we decided we were going to do that too. Since being diagnosed I’ve been uber aware of my sugar intake. Normally I wouldn’t drink even the little cups they had of Gatorade – but knowing all the energy I’d be using, I had a small cup of Gatorade at each stop. I also filled up my water bottle with the nice cold water they had there. It’s incredibly well set up. You are supported the whole way – there are support vehicles you can flag down and there’s “sweep vehicles” that pick up any stragglers and bring them to the next pit stop after a certain time. You are never truly alone.

As I was waiting for Phil and Reece, I was asked if I could be filmed by the Ride To Conquer crew being asked some questions about the Ride. They asked why I was riding and how I was finding the Ride so far. It’s funny because I can string words together when I write my blog, but being put on the spot I answered their questions but later thought “why did I say that and why didn’t I say this??” The rest of my teammates had carried on and I was still waiting for Phil and Reece. I started to wonder if maybe they had stopped in and we had missed each other?? I texted Phil telling him I was still at the rest stop and hoped they were just running behind and not that they had already left…There were less and less people stopping and there were only a handful of people still at the rest stop when Phil finally showed up! I was so relieved!!

The thing about the longer rides is it becomes a mental thing. I’m good until about 60k…then I start getting tired, emotional and doubt my ability. Phil is my champion. He soothes and pushes and encourages me, long past the point when I’d normally stop. He has become a strong rider but I never feel intimidated when we ride together – I feel supported. I’ll go on a challenging ride with him – or even suggest a challenging route - without even thinking about it – whereas with anyone else I’d be worried about slowing them down or not being able to keep up. I know that as long as Phil is there, we’ll finish whatever we set out to do.  Even just riding separate those few km I didn’t like it. We set out on this canser path together, and trained together and now I wanted to ride it, and finish it as we started - together. I decided then and there if he had to stop again, I would stop with him.

So my face probably lit up when I saw him pulling into the stop.  We could see the sweep vehicle coming, and hopped on our bikes after Phil hit the bathroom and pedalled off, determined to catch up with the tail end of our teammates.

The route was gorgeous. It was just us, the road and the big Alberta sky. Open land all around us, with the mountains in the distance. Talk about amazing. It had started to warm up a bit too. The next stop was just past Bragg Creek so we had quite a ways to go…

That’s when it started to happen. A few riders as they passed us or as we passed them shouted out “keep it up Cindy!” or “Good Job Cindy!”. I turned thinking it was One Aimers. It wasn’t. My immediate thought was “oh man I wish I was better at remembering names” although they did not look familiar. Every rider has a “license plate” on the back of their bike which has their name. After a few more times of it happening, I realised people were calling out my name from reading it on my plate…It took a few more to realise it was because of my yellow flag.

My eyes teared up at this realisation. And it gave a little extra motivation to get up those hills.

Phil started to mimic those other riders, encouraging other survivors as we passed them. But then he also encouraged those who were having a rough go getting up hills, or looked really tired. I never said anything to him, but it made me smile every time.

I think the Ride brings out the best in people.

As we rode the long road (highway) into Bragg Creek, the cars were backed up because they had shut down part of the road where the cyclists were crossing the road to go up the hill to the next pit stop. I wondered briefly if the motorists were annoyed. And then I heard people cheering out of their windows. And whistling. And clapping. I started grinning more. Then we got to Bragg Creek town where there was a cheering section set up – tons of supporters with signs and balloons and kids…I was getting a bit emotional seeing them and knowing we were oh so close to the next pit stop. They cheered loudly as we passed them, even though we didn’t know any of the people cheering. My grin got bigger.

Those cheering sections are awesome. They are placed in the perfect spots to give you that boost to just make it that little bit further. That one was at the bottom of a hill so I got a little burst of energy going up the hill. I knew we were getting close to the next stop so I put my head down and just concentrated on getting up the hill.

And then I could see all the crazy coloured volunteers up a ways – waving flags and cheering, which told us we were at the next pit stop! We rode in and saw One Aim bikes so we put ours with the rest and went off in search of food, drink and our comrades. We ran into Elaine and Jennie who are both survivors. Elaine is a 30 plus year survivor, a huge inspiration to me and she is the one who put her arm around me last year when I balled through the Opening ceremonies. Jennie is a 4 plus years breast canser survivor, who carries a BRCA mutation. She was diagnosed when her 3 kids were little(r)  and she had to go through reconstruction and all that fun stuff…she is an amazing, kind woman close in age to myself, who has shared her story with me and offered to answer any questions I might have that she might be able to answer as I go down a similar path as she did. Her boyfriend Dan is incredibly supportive and just as wonderful – we get along so well with them. They were doing the Ride together this year.

After getting delayed, I was so happy to run into them!! We thought maybe we would be so far behind that we had missed everyone, so were glad we caught up to some teammates. It’s really  hard to judge where you are in relation to everyone else because everyone rides at their own pace and there is a pretty big span between the first riders and the last.

Then we were off. We rode a good part of the next bit off and on with Jennie and Dan. We had a good bit of straight road with a slight incline, then down the huge hill that would be one of the most challenging to go back up the next day.

As we were riding along a straight stretch, we passed by a bald woman sitting by the road at the end of a driveway, obviously in treatment, with a Thank You sign. I don’t know if I was getting tired, or the heat was getting to me, but I got an immediate lump in my throat and a few tears spilled out. It immediately brought me back to why we were doing what we were doing. This ride wasn’t just about my story. It was also about the many, many others coming up behind me, going through the same, if not worse, hell that I had been through.

We had some challenging hills on our way to the lunch spot (near Millarville) I made it up every single one – some in my last gear, pedalling slower than a 90 year old with a walker…but I made it up and didn’t have to get off my bike. That was kind of my own personal goal for this ride…it didn’t matter how long it took to complete, but I wanted to not only complete the ride, but complete it on my bike. I didn’t want to get off and walk, or get into a support vehicle. So many things can happen when you’re out on the road, so although it was a reasonable goal, it was by no means guaranteed. But I needed something to aim for, aside from the finish line. So that was it. I think the handful of Skittles I ate prior to each hill helped ha.

By the time we got to the lunch stop, it was HOT. The sun was beating down and there were hardly any clouds in the sky. It was a beautiful, hot Aug day. We found some teammates, some food and some shade. As we ate all I could think was we were half way done day 1 – give or take a few km…images of ice cold beer started to float about in my head as I thought about arriving into Camp…

We felt pretty good leaving lunch. We were riding from just near Millarville to Black Diamond...We had driven most of it when we camped a few weeks ago at Sandy McNabb so I kinda had an idea what was coming up, but on a bike is very different than behind the wheel of a vehicle….

It kinda looks flatish when you’re driving. I can tell you – it’s NOT! It’s a long, gradual incline, with a couple of dips down…I have to say I found it pretty challenging. We were hitting that 60k plus mark so in hindsight I should have known the ride would start to get challenging from an energy perspective for me, but it still surprised me. I think mostly because there weren’t any huge hills. It just seemed to go on. And on. And on….It felt like a never-ending road..with each bend I kept hoping to see the sign for Turner Valley…but around each bend was just more road!

As the heat and the tiredness got to me I found myself getting emotional. I thought about Sarah who would give anything to feel the tiredness and heat I was feeling at that moment if it meant being alive. I thought about Opa who had created a bucket list because his prostate cancer had stopped responding to treatment and progressed to his bones. I thought about Ray who did not get the news he was hoping when he finished treatment and went back for scan results a few months later. The cancer was still there, so he was going through more chemo, which was brutal on his body. Along with those thoughts, every now and again my flag would flap in the wind – like an auditory reminder that I wasn’t alone and found the drive to keep me going. I also had my cheerleader, Phil who could probably see I was slower than usual. Finally, we saw the “Black Diamond 3k” sign and it suddenly seemed like nothing! We knew it would be mostly downhill. I was so very happy to arrive at that rest stop!! And guess who we ran into – none other than Nigel! Talk about a boost when you need  it! He had already arrived at camp (he and Mike and a few of them were actually the very FIRST riders to arrive at camp – a personal goal for some of them!) and been back and forth a few times already…he confirmed the beer was cold and waiting for us!

That was all it took – we took a pic in front of the Black Diamond and off we went on the final leg of Day 1! It was mostly uphill but knowing we were so close we just once again put our heads down and pedalled. As we rode into Okotoks, my heart was filled with so much happiness and pride…it was a tough ride, we were hot, tired and thirsty, but man what a day!! And we were almost at Camp!!! Suddenly it felt like the day had flown by. As we got closer, you could see more and more volunteers and groups of cheering people! We had quite the welcome as we rode the last leg and crossed Welcome to Camp banner that signalled the end of day 1! We did it!!

One day down…time to celebrate and then get up and do it all over again tomorrow!! Ha.

But for now all I could think was “let’s get our bikes locked up and go sit out of the sun and have a nice cold beer”.

They were serving Steam Whistle, which was one of the sponsors, and boy I swear that was the best can of beer I ever had lol It was cold and wet and tasted like victory. My mom called and showed up with Ethan and my Dad and my Grandma. I was so happy to see them. After my family left we showered and then partied with the team until we figured we should hit the sack….in our tents!

As we laid our heads down, I felt like a little kid who has just had the best day ever. It was one of the rare days (a whole day!!) since being diagnosed where I was completely content. All felt right in my world. My biggest worry was if my legs would last the next day to get me to the finish line. I wasn’t worried about getting sick again. Or losing anymore friends. Or dying.

It was a wonderful gift.

I drifted off to sleep with a tummy full of beer, a heart full of love, a worry free mind and a smile on my face.