Feb 29, 2015
Local Hero. How fitting.
That's the name of the last riding (cycling) session that Phil and I signed up for at this year's CANSuffer to Conquer event at Southcenter Mall. Although there were 7 heroes, not just one...
If you recall, this is the same event I stumbled upon during my chemo induced bald debut last year. The one that gave me the courage to accept my bald head when I was struggling with that acceptance.
And so much more.
We were side by side on our bikes, for the second time that day. So many things were going through my mind. As I looked around at everyone pedalling, my heart was full.
And every time I looked at those 2 crazy guys on stage, my heart felt like it was going to explode from the overwhelming emotion. You see, everyone participating was there for the cause and committed to raising funds (ultimately benefiting the Alberta cancer Foundation). Just by being there, on a stationary bike or for support - they had my love and gratitude. But 3 guys - Mike, Martin and Jeremy - started out deciding they were going to truly, horribly, insanely suffer to raise awareness and funds for The Ride to Conquer cancer and people who are suffering through canser.
They decided to ride for 24hrs.
Straight.
Only 15 minute "breaks" between videos. No sleep. Lots of food.
Oh and lots of pain.
Think about going 24hrs just without sleep. No, not when you were in your early 20's and a party animal.
Now.
Think how awful that feels. Then throw in sitting on a hard, little seat (from hell??) while cycling to videos that have the name "suffer" right in the title... Kinda takes suffering to a whole new level. Why in God's name would anyone put themselves through that? As Martin (the founder of the CANSuffer event) put it:
"Because people with canser and their families don't choose to suffer - they have no choice. So we choose to suffer until there comes a time no one has to suffer because of canser". (do you sense some hero worship starting to build? You're right....)
There were also 4 slightly less insane individuals - Shawna, Myles, Ben & Simon - who signed up to ride for 12 hours. Yes, hours.
And you thought I was nuts for signing up do to The Ride To Conquer?! I think my threshold for what's considered crazy just rose a notch...or 100.
Last year I didn't know about the 'suffering' part of the CANSuffer event until after. But the event touched me in a way that it gave me strength to keep going - these people believed in what they were doing and how research can make a difference. That belief and the action they took in turn sprung hope in me.
Being a participant 9 months later was extremely emotional for me. Phil and I walked in the same mall doors I walked through last year - and I only made it about 6 feet from the escalator (to go down to the event) before I dissolved in tears. I wasn't expecting that.
I got myself together, and when Mike and Martin spotted me on the escalator and acknowledged me with a nod and salute while pedalling on stage, I felt my eyes well up once again. They had been going for over 15hours by then. I could only think "I'm here. I'm actually here." And there they are, going for 24hours. For people like me. I broke down again. I wasn't expecting that either.
And then I touched base with many of my One Aim members. I got to see who Jeremy was - the 3rd person going for 24hrs. I also got to see Shawna, Ben, Myles and Simon. I had met Shawna previously, but didn't know the rest of them.
I was with my team. And they were with me.
And then Bobbi showed up with her family in tow. Then Andrea. And Liz and family. I knew they had all signed up, and was expecting them, but seeing them there in the flesh - Liz never having been on a spin bike, Andrea only twice before (the previous week!) and Bobbi ready to push herself - I could feel another damn lump in my throat.
They were here. For me. How lucky was I?
My parents got to the mall too to cheer us on since they had a concert to get to a while later. They had mentioned they would come - but seeing them show up touched me still. I had surprises that day too. Ray - who knows my parents - and who I (sadly) met at one of my last oncologist appointments & his first, came by with his wife to say hi and cheer us on! He was just finishing up radiation. I kinda hoped we were mutual inspiration for each other that day. He was there for me, and I was riding for him.
When the Revolver session started - our first - the whole energy of the event felt hopeful and there was this great sense of camaraderie. For the first time, my 'fear' of not being able to complete The Ride subsided. These people - whether it be my One Aim team, Phil or my cheerleaders - wouldn't let me fail. Of that I was certain.
And in all this emotion, there was Phil. Pedalling away - chatting to everyone and smiling and having a great ol time. My rock. My silent partner who is often quietly in the background, but always actively supporting me. I gave him a smile but I don't know if he could see the emotion behind it. Knowing him, he probably did....
Phil's parents showed up with our kids and another wave of emotion hit. I'm doing this for those who've gone through canser. For those we've lost to canser. For those who are currently going through it. And so that future generations - like my kids - won't know the crushing feeling of having the words "you have canser". My hope is the money we raise now will either lead to a cure, or at least make it a manageable disease that is more annoying than life threatening.
The night before CANSuffer I was so inspired by the 3 24hr riders that I decided to sign up for a 2nd session. Phil said he was good with just the one session we were already signed up for. After asking my One Aim teammates, I chose session 10, which was the last session. Phil got a good laugh when I realized - after I signed up - that it was not an hour, but 1hr 20 min!!!
After our 1st session, Phil himself was inspired by the event and camaraderie and the first thing he did when he got off his bike was sign up for session 10. 1hr 20 min or not. He got the last spot.
Kelly and Janis came to lend their support during my speech....ya Martin, the founder of CANSuffer, asked if I could say a few words...which turned into like 12 minutes worth of words lol. I never was good with 'brief'! It was not too hard to write - being on a topic so near and dear to my heart - but I was pretty nervous. Writing a blog is one thing - talking in a mall is a different thing altogether!! But with so many supporters there it went well and I didn't even fall off the stage or drop my speech! Here it is if you are curious (and have 13 minutes to spare...)
I did miss a fellow warrior's speech - Carol-Lynn - who is going through central nervous system lymphoma treatment right now (and who's chemo put her chronic lumphocytic leukaemia into remission). She was rocking some awesome pink hair and everyone was talking about her speech when Phil and I returned to the mall later on. I was very sad to have missed it (but found her on Facebook and now can follow her story live ha)
So as we rode together in session 10, with our One Aim teammates by our side, I took a moment and took it all in. The feeling of joy and love and hope lifted my spirit - which had been struggling since treatment ended. I looked at all the red, sweaty faces of each rider. My eyes watered yet again when I looked on stage at those inspiring, amazing, crazy Angels up there who must have needed toothpicks to keep their eyes open and God knows how their legs kept moving through the pain.
9 months ago my Mall Angels helped me through treatment. And now they are helping me through survivorship. What a gift.
A lifetime would not be enough to thank them for what they've given me.
I believe participating in CANSuffer 1 month after radiation ended was fuelled by the motivation they provided. No one doubted I could do it - so I did it. My love for the team is what will carry me through to The Ride To Conquer. (ok, and maybe some training with them & Phil will help too...along with the cheerleaders in my life!!)
So to my teammates, my family, my friends, and my Luv who were all by my side - Thank You.
To the 4 individuals - Shawna, Ben, Simon and Myles - who pedalled a crazy 12hrs - Thank You.
To Jeremy who completed an insane 18hrs - Thank You.
And to Mike and Martin - you are my heroes. I can't imagine the pain during and in the days following your heroic 24hrs of suffering but from someone who's suffered because of canser - it meant the world to me.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
As I posted that night on Facebook:
"The absolute best of the human spirit. That is what we experienced today. The best day - top 5 for sure. The blog for today will write itself, but at the moment I am overcome with emotion and at a loss to adequately express it. Everyone we rode with or came to support us - Thank You. For a second year in a row I've been humbled. What an absolute privilege and honour. I will never forget today".
I'm so glad you came.
Local Hero. How fitting.
That's the name of the last riding (cycling) session that Phil and I signed up for at this year's CANSuffer to Conquer event at Southcenter Mall. Although there were 7 heroes, not just one...
If you recall, this is the same event I stumbled upon during my chemo induced bald debut last year. The one that gave me the courage to accept my bald head when I was struggling with that acceptance.
And so much more.
We were side by side on our bikes, for the second time that day. So many things were going through my mind. As I looked around at everyone pedalling, my heart was full.
And every time I looked at those 2 crazy guys on stage, my heart felt like it was going to explode from the overwhelming emotion. You see, everyone participating was there for the cause and committed to raising funds (ultimately benefiting the Alberta cancer Foundation). Just by being there, on a stationary bike or for support - they had my love and gratitude. But 3 guys - Mike, Martin and Jeremy - started out deciding they were going to truly, horribly, insanely suffer to raise awareness and funds for The Ride to Conquer cancer and people who are suffering through canser.
They decided to ride for 24hrs.
Straight.
Only 15 minute "breaks" between videos. No sleep. Lots of food.
Oh and lots of pain.
Think about going 24hrs just without sleep. No, not when you were in your early 20's and a party animal.
Now.
Think how awful that feels. Then throw in sitting on a hard, little seat (from hell??) while cycling to videos that have the name "suffer" right in the title... Kinda takes suffering to a whole new level. Why in God's name would anyone put themselves through that? As Martin (the founder of the CANSuffer event) put it:
"Because people with canser and their families don't choose to suffer - they have no choice. So we choose to suffer until there comes a time no one has to suffer because of canser". (do you sense some hero worship starting to build? You're right....)
There were also 4 slightly less insane individuals - Shawna, Myles, Ben & Simon - who signed up to ride for 12 hours. Yes, hours.
And you thought I was nuts for signing up do to The Ride To Conquer?! I think my threshold for what's considered crazy just rose a notch...or 100.
Last year I didn't know about the 'suffering' part of the CANSuffer event until after. But the event touched me in a way that it gave me strength to keep going - these people believed in what they were doing and how research can make a difference. That belief and the action they took in turn sprung hope in me.
Being a participant 9 months later was extremely emotional for me. Phil and I walked in the same mall doors I walked through last year - and I only made it about 6 feet from the escalator (to go down to the event) before I dissolved in tears. I wasn't expecting that.
I got myself together, and when Mike and Martin spotted me on the escalator and acknowledged me with a nod and salute while pedalling on stage, I felt my eyes well up once again. They had been going for over 15hours by then. I could only think "I'm here. I'm actually here." And there they are, going for 24hours. For people like me. I broke down again. I wasn't expecting that either.
And then I touched base with many of my One Aim members. I got to see who Jeremy was - the 3rd person going for 24hrs. I also got to see Shawna, Ben, Myles and Simon. I had met Shawna previously, but didn't know the rest of them.
I was with my team. And they were with me.
And then Bobbi showed up with her family in tow. Then Andrea. And Liz and family. I knew they had all signed up, and was expecting them, but seeing them there in the flesh - Liz never having been on a spin bike, Andrea only twice before (the previous week!) and Bobbi ready to push herself - I could feel another damn lump in my throat.
They were here. For me. How lucky was I?
My parents got to the mall too to cheer us on since they had a concert to get to a while later. They had mentioned they would come - but seeing them show up touched me still. I had surprises that day too. Ray - who knows my parents - and who I (sadly) met at one of my last oncologist appointments & his first, came by with his wife to say hi and cheer us on! He was just finishing up radiation. I kinda hoped we were mutual inspiration for each other that day. He was there for me, and I was riding for him.
When the Revolver session started - our first - the whole energy of the event felt hopeful and there was this great sense of camaraderie. For the first time, my 'fear' of not being able to complete The Ride subsided. These people - whether it be my One Aim team, Phil or my cheerleaders - wouldn't let me fail. Of that I was certain.
And in all this emotion, there was Phil. Pedalling away - chatting to everyone and smiling and having a great ol time. My rock. My silent partner who is often quietly in the background, but always actively supporting me. I gave him a smile but I don't know if he could see the emotion behind it. Knowing him, he probably did....
Phil's parents showed up with our kids and another wave of emotion hit. I'm doing this for those who've gone through canser. For those we've lost to canser. For those who are currently going through it. And so that future generations - like my kids - won't know the crushing feeling of having the words "you have canser". My hope is the money we raise now will either lead to a cure, or at least make it a manageable disease that is more annoying than life threatening.
The night before CANSuffer I was so inspired by the 3 24hr riders that I decided to sign up for a 2nd session. Phil said he was good with just the one session we were already signed up for. After asking my One Aim teammates, I chose session 10, which was the last session. Phil got a good laugh when I realized - after I signed up - that it was not an hour, but 1hr 20 min!!!
After our 1st session, Phil himself was inspired by the event and camaraderie and the first thing he did when he got off his bike was sign up for session 10. 1hr 20 min or not. He got the last spot.
Kelly and Janis came to lend their support during my speech....ya Martin, the founder of CANSuffer, asked if I could say a few words...which turned into like 12 minutes worth of words lol. I never was good with 'brief'! It was not too hard to write - being on a topic so near and dear to my heart - but I was pretty nervous. Writing a blog is one thing - talking in a mall is a different thing altogether!! But with so many supporters there it went well and I didn't even fall off the stage or drop my speech! Here it is if you are curious (and have 13 minutes to spare...)
I did miss a fellow warrior's speech - Carol-Lynn - who is going through central nervous system lymphoma treatment right now (and who's chemo put her chronic lumphocytic leukaemia into remission). She was rocking some awesome pink hair and everyone was talking about her speech when Phil and I returned to the mall later on. I was very sad to have missed it (but found her on Facebook and now can follow her story live ha)
So as we rode together in session 10, with our One Aim teammates by our side, I took a moment and took it all in. The feeling of joy and love and hope lifted my spirit - which had been struggling since treatment ended. I looked at all the red, sweaty faces of each rider. My eyes watered yet again when I looked on stage at those inspiring, amazing, crazy Angels up there who must have needed toothpicks to keep their eyes open and God knows how their legs kept moving through the pain.
9 months ago my Mall Angels helped me through treatment. And now they are helping me through survivorship. What a gift.
A lifetime would not be enough to thank them for what they've given me.
I believe participating in CANSuffer 1 month after radiation ended was fuelled by the motivation they provided. No one doubted I could do it - so I did it. My love for the team is what will carry me through to The Ride To Conquer. (ok, and maybe some training with them & Phil will help too...along with the cheerleaders in my life!!)
So to my teammates, my family, my friends, and my Luv who were all by my side - Thank You.
To the 4 individuals - Shawna, Ben, Simon and Myles - who pedalled a crazy 12hrs - Thank You.
To Jeremy who completed an insane 18hrs - Thank You.
And to Mike and Martin - you are my heroes. I can't imagine the pain during and in the days following your heroic 24hrs of suffering but from someone who's suffered because of canser - it meant the world to me.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
As I posted that night on Facebook:
"The absolute best of the human spirit. That is what we experienced today. The best day - top 5 for sure. The blog for today will write itself, but at the moment I am overcome with emotion and at a loss to adequately express it. Everyone we rode with or came to support us - Thank You. For a second year in a row I've been humbled. What an absolute privilege and honour. I will never forget today".
I'm so glad you came.
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