"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom" - Marcel Proust

Dec 27, 2014

And so life went on. 

My "Well canser it's been a slice" party/Christmas party was great with lots of friends, family, amazing food and great conversation! It felt like any other normal party. We had Christmas music on and the kids were all playing and running around. It was almost like I could forget about canser. I was less nervous to again be without my boobs and after the first few people arrived, never gave them a second thought. Everyone was just happy I had some hair! In all the excitement I forgot to take pics...oops! But it was a really good night and I was so happy to be surrounded by so much love and support.

My heart was light.

My One Aim Christmas party was the same. Phil got to meet more of his teammates as well. Most of the team that I've gotten to know were there so it was another happy occasion. And as always with my beloved team, I felt like I just fit right in. I had no qualms at all with this group being boobless. I guess accepting me with open arms (and hearts) "at my worst" (in my mind) when I was bald and the most self conscious created this strange comfort level with them that made me feel like they saw the person inside and didn't care what the outside looked like. 

To feel like you have true acceptance - from strangers no less - is a rare gift. So being physically altered again when I lost both breasts was no different. It's never been about physical appearance with One Aim. Which is why I think it's been so good for the soul to have met them when I did.

We also went to Bobbi & Eric's with Liz and Dave for supper which turned into another Christmas party of sorts. Bobbi's mom was there and then her sister came by and some other friends. 4 bottles of wine later and we were having a grand ol time lol. I didn't intend to have more than 1 glass of wine - at all the other parties (except work...) I had maybe 2 beers - but I think I was just so relaxed combined with being so happy.

I love Christmastime and this year I especially savoured every minute. Each party we went to added to my joy and was an almost shocking reminder of the enormous support system we have. To start a canser journey with alot of support is amazing, but to have an even bigger circle after 9 months is quite something.

My gratitude for every single person who has been there for us grows more everyday. That gratitude I believe is what made this Christmas season especially special and magical to me. Since surgery my re-occurrence fears have definitely been surfacing more too so I was very glad for all the happy distractions.

Christmas Eve and Christmas day were fantastic. I know spending time with family can be stressful and hectic during the holidays but this year honestly I was just so happy to be alive that I tried very hard to stay in the present moment and enjoyed the time spent together.

Radiation still felt like it was somewhere in the distant future, when in truth it was going to start only a few short days past Christmas...I guess the previous 9 rounds of frightening anticipation (8 chemo & surgery) gave me lots of practise at trying not to think so far ahead.



Maybe I've finally mastered that art...10th time a charm??

Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed a wonderful Christmas, from me and mine....