Aug 18, 2014
My next post will be about my appointment with my Radiation Oncologist but before anymore time slips away I want to share about all the good amazing things that have happened amongst the dark days.
First off I'm sure you noticed in the pic from my 1st docetaxel treatment that beautiful quilt I had on me? That was made specially for me by my mom's cousin Carol. She makes quilts with a group for canser patients, but she made that one just for me. It says:
What canser Cannot Do
canser cannot Shatter Hope
canser cannot Steal Humour
canser cannot Erase Memories
canser cannot Kill Friendships
canser cannot Conquer the Spirit
canser cannot Destroy Peace
canser cannot Erode Confidence
canser cannot Invade the Soul
canser cannot Corrode Faith
canser cannot Stifle Laughter
And you guessed it - I cried when I got it lol. So did my mom.
It's the most beautiful quilt I have ever seen.
I have used it at every chemo treatment since. It comforts me. And warms my heart along with my body. It kinda feels like a shield when I put it on - it keeps me safe.
Last chemo when all hell broke loose, I tucked the quilt tighter around me and put Kimmy's mom's angel of strength token in my palm while I prayed for that woman. They both helped keep me calm.
I also got 2 surprises in the mail a few weeks back from people I have never met. The first package was from PEI. From a friend of my cousin's, Natasha. She is mom of 2 girls and is on her own journey - potentially Early Onset Parkinson's. We have a strange tie - the day I told my cousin about my diagnosis Natasha also told her about hers. We follow each others blogs. I can relate to alot of her challenges and so can she mine. She sent me the necklace in this picture. With a note to hang in there. I got it when things were getting tough - during my last 2 rounds of FEC. It helped me get back on my feet. The thought that someone would be so thoughtful to send a gift to someone they never met...I wore that necklace alot at BVJ. It gave me the courage I needed with my bald head amongst all those with hair lol. I looked for other baldies but never found any. When I'd feel self conscious with my cowboy hat and no hair I'd touch the necklace and think of her kindness and feel better. It has helped on days when it's tough being 'canser girl'.
That same day (I hadn't gotten the mail in a week or more - oops...guess this 'Life of Leisure' is getting to me ha ha) I also had a package waiting for me from Tristan, who is a woman out of the Edmonton Canadian Breast canser Foundation office. We were in touch when my 2 teams first registered and I told her a little about my story and my blog. She has been following it ever since! I think about all the amazing stories she must hear and yet for some reason she finds the time to follow my story. And send me a package with an encouraging note cause she could see I was having a rougher go than usual. Her package contained a bunch of Breast canser ribbon pins, (enough for my current team - although it's about to grow cause I know a bunch more people who are going to sign up!!) and a beautiful handmade necklace and bracelet (made in Calgary) She kindly sent one of those sets for my mom - who loves it. (as do I!) And one of the best parts is the Rise and Shine box which is basically a pack of inspirational quotes. There are 180 and I pull one out everyday during chemo week and on days when I need a pick me up. They are awesome. Each time I read the quotes I feel doubly inspired. Cause of what's written and also cause of where they come from.
A week before that I got a little card in the mail. When I opened it up, I had to read it twice. My mom's friend Elise - who's known me since I was like 2 and is pretty much family - sent Phil and I a night away in Banff at Delta Kananskis lodge! Her gift was the gift of rest and memories. We haven't used it yet, but I'm hoping to before surgery maybe once chemo is done.
My neighbour Trista dropped off some David's tea samples which is great cause I drink so much tea and I get sick of the same stuff all the time yet don't want to buy a huge amount of one I've never tried.
My mom's friend Marlene came in to visit from Ontario. She handmade both me and my mom warm infinity scarves! I love mine! It will keep me warm when the weather cools down and I'm touched she made it with her own 2 hands (I will make sure to include a pic in future when I wear it!). Just like my Grandma who made Em and Ethan & Phil a pair of her infamous, handmade knit socks. Phil's and Ethan's socks match so Ethan was overjoyed! I already have quite a few pairs she has made me over the years, so I'm happy the rest of the family now have their own!
Phil's mom too has been working on hats for me. She is an awesome seamstress so I have a few hats that are unique, and fit perfectly! And of course were handmade which makes them even more special to me.
My parents have booked and paid for an oncology massage, every week after chemo. I often go in feeling like half a person, only to come out a brand new woman - glowing and feeling fantastic - inside and out! It's like my own Superman phone booth. And they won't take no for an answer. Parents sometimes really do know whats best...
Every single thought and act of kindness from friends and family and those we have yet to meet makes such a huge difference. It's been the difference between facing this journey with pessimism and total fear and facing it with optimism and hope. I can't ever stay down long enough because there is always an act of kindness around the corner that makes it a little easier to get back up.
We really couldn't have made it through the past few months without all the love and support we've had. I keep saying it, but its really what keeps us going. Cause you hit these walls, or really bad days when you almost feel hopeless. I still get moments when I think "holy s%$t I have canser". It still feels surreal sometimes. And all these acts of love help us to continue on.
I never dreamed this journey could be like this. Part joy. Part gratitude. I've become student and advocate. Hopefully friend to anyone who needs one going through this too. I'm thankful for many parts of this crazy journey. I never expected so much good to come after a canser diagnosis.
I'm glad it took me so long to write this post. After a rougher than normal chemo week, its been good timing to reflect on all the good people in our life. We are so fortunate to be so loved.
Thank you.
My next post will be about my appointment with my Radiation Oncologist but before anymore time slips away I want to share about all the good amazing things that have happened amongst the dark days.
What canser Cannot Do
canser cannot Shatter Hope
canser cannot Steal Humour
canser cannot Erase Memories
canser cannot Kill Friendships
canser cannot Conquer the Spirit
canser cannot Destroy Peace
canser cannot Erode Confidence
canser cannot Invade the Soul
canser cannot Corrode Faith
canser cannot Stifle Laughter
And you guessed it - I cried when I got it lol. So did my mom.
It's the most beautiful quilt I have ever seen.
I have used it at every chemo treatment since. It comforts me. And warms my heart along with my body. It kinda feels like a shield when I put it on - it keeps me safe.
Last chemo when all hell broke loose, I tucked the quilt tighter around me and put Kimmy's mom's angel of strength token in my palm while I prayed for that woman. They both helped keep me calm.
My neighbour Trista dropped off some David's tea samples which is great cause I drink so much tea and I get sick of the same stuff all the time yet don't want to buy a huge amount of one I've never tried.
My mom's friend Marlene came in to visit from Ontario. She handmade both me and my mom warm infinity scarves! I love mine! It will keep me warm when the weather cools down and I'm touched she made it with her own 2 hands (I will make sure to include a pic in future when I wear it!). Just like my Grandma who made Em and Ethan & Phil a pair of her infamous, handmade knit socks. Phil's and Ethan's socks match so Ethan was overjoyed! I already have quite a few pairs she has made me over the years, so I'm happy the rest of the family now have their own!
My parents have booked and paid for an oncology massage, every week after chemo. I often go in feeling like half a person, only to come out a brand new woman - glowing and feeling fantastic - inside and out! It's like my own Superman phone booth. And they won't take no for an answer. Parents sometimes really do know whats best...
Every single thought and act of kindness from friends and family and those we have yet to meet makes such a huge difference. It's been the difference between facing this journey with pessimism and total fear and facing it with optimism and hope. I can't ever stay down long enough because there is always an act of kindness around the corner that makes it a little easier to get back up.
We really couldn't have made it through the past few months without all the love and support we've had. I keep saying it, but its really what keeps us going. Cause you hit these walls, or really bad days when you almost feel hopeless. I still get moments when I think "holy s%$t I have canser". It still feels surreal sometimes. And all these acts of love help us to continue on.
I never dreamed this journey could be like this. Part joy. Part gratitude. I've become student and advocate. Hopefully friend to anyone who needs one going through this too. I'm thankful for many parts of this crazy journey. I never expected so much good to come after a canser diagnosis.
I'm glad it took me so long to write this post. After a rougher than normal chemo week, its been good timing to reflect on all the good people in our life. We are so fortunate to be so loved.
Thank you.
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