June 20, 2015
The change in me within days of taking that little half pill is insane. It's like someone shut off the 24hr fear of reocurrance channel. It's gone.
I feel like I can breathe again.
Like I was living so long fighting the anxiety that I forgot what life was like without it. That there was life without it.
I'm shocked! It's like my fear had me paralysed and stuck, unable to move forward. Like a pause button over a very scary part of my life. And now someone's hit the play button.
For once canser feels behind me. Maybe right behind me, but behind me nevertheless. It's a very liberating feeling. Once again I wonder why it took me so long to take the first pill?
I even called Dr Humphreys' office to re-book my appointment for the reconstruction consult. I was nervous they would be upset seeing as the appointment was in less than a month...
They were great! She even re-booked me for Sept 15!! So now I can enjoy the summer, deal with going back to work in a few weeks, and not have to stress about other heavy decisions. The BRA event is Oct 21 - this is an event that goes through all the options for reconstruction, and you can talk to those who have gone through it (and see their results) and some reconstruction surgeons are even there! Phil and I went last year before my mastectomy. It was a little overwhelming but amazing! I highly recommend it to anyone even considering reconstruction (or even if you aren't). I'm hopeful my family and Phil's family will come with us this year. So they can have an idea what's involved in whatever I decided to do.
In the meantime we have been continuing to ride. I did my biggest ride yet with Phil - from Sikome Lake to the weir and back - 45.6k! It was a gorgeous ride along the bow river pathway. One of my favourites so far!
And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the amazing Zumba fundraiser Save A Rack that my childhood friends Kimmy A and Kris put together. They raised over $1000 and donated it to Phil and I's Ride to Conquer! Childhood friends from my hometown participated and donated. People I didn't know also participated and donated! The feeling of love and support from my hometown makes my eyes water. My heart was overflowing with love and gratitude. I wish I could've flown back to be part of the fundraiser but we raised our glass with friends in Calgary to toast my amazing friends.
It's all the more amazing that Kimmy A (so named amongst our group as to avoid confusion with Kimmy D) donated to our Ride given she is also a recent canser survivor herself! She was diagnosed with cervical canser last fall and chose this summer to support Phil and I. My hope is the money that goes to the Alberta Cancer Foundation (which is who the Ride benefits - and is for all cancers) will also benefit cervical canser research.
I'm not sure what I did to deserve such loyal, loving friends, but I am incredibly grateful to have them in my life. Since my diagnosis, my childhood friends and I have grown even closer.
So thank you my crazy, wonderful, generous friends.
And my hometown of Two Mountains as well.
My heart is full.
The change in me within days of taking that little half pill is insane. It's like someone shut off the 24hr fear of reocurrance channel. It's gone.
I feel like I can breathe again.
Like I was living so long fighting the anxiety that I forgot what life was like without it. That there was life without it.
I'm shocked! It's like my fear had me paralysed and stuck, unable to move forward. Like a pause button over a very scary part of my life. And now someone's hit the play button.
For once canser feels behind me. Maybe right behind me, but behind me nevertheless. It's a very liberating feeling. Once again I wonder why it took me so long to take the first pill?
I even called Dr Humphreys' office to re-book my appointment for the reconstruction consult. I was nervous they would be upset seeing as the appointment was in less than a month...
They were great! She even re-booked me for Sept 15!! So now I can enjoy the summer, deal with going back to work in a few weeks, and not have to stress about other heavy decisions. The BRA event is Oct 21 - this is an event that goes through all the options for reconstruction, and you can talk to those who have gone through it (and see their results) and some reconstruction surgeons are even there! Phil and I went last year before my mastectomy. It was a little overwhelming but amazing! I highly recommend it to anyone even considering reconstruction (or even if you aren't). I'm hopeful my family and Phil's family will come with us this year. So they can have an idea what's involved in whatever I decided to do.
In the meantime we have been continuing to ride. I did my biggest ride yet with Phil - from Sikome Lake to the weir and back - 45.6k! It was a gorgeous ride along the bow river pathway. One of my favourites so far!
It's all the more amazing that Kimmy A (so named amongst our group as to avoid confusion with Kimmy D) donated to our Ride given she is also a recent canser survivor herself! She was diagnosed with cervical canser last fall and chose this summer to support Phil and I. My hope is the money that goes to the Alberta Cancer Foundation (which is who the Ride benefits - and is for all cancers) will also benefit cervical canser research.
I'm not sure what I did to deserve such loyal, loving friends, but I am incredibly grateful to have them in my life. Since my diagnosis, my childhood friends and I have grown even closer.
So thank you my crazy, wonderful, generous friends.
And my hometown of Two Mountains as well.
My heart is full.
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