Sept 8, 2014
September Long weekend we were able to get away camping at Tillebrook before my next - 7th- round of chemo. We went with Phil's parents and our friends Bobbi & Eric and Liz and Dave. It was exactly what I needed. I love camping with my friends - the kids play all day long and then we chat by the fire after the kids are asleep. Liz and I got to catch up that first night and the next morning which was really great. When you live an hour apart you don't get as much time as you'd like to have those non-interrupted conversations. Bobbi, Liz and I have all met around the same time from our dayhome like 2 years ago and have been close friends ever since. They were angels when I met them, and have been there for me ever since. They are 2 of my closest friends and I am so lucky to have them in my life, and in my corner. I cherish any time we are able to get together.
There's always lots of laughs and when I'm
with them I'm just me - not canser girl. It's so nice (although they do listen to me vent or rant about whatever chemo/canser related issue may be aggravating me at the moment lol)
Bobbi and Eric were troopers in a tent! Luckily the weather held so it made for a great weekend. My In laws brought our nephews with them so we had a whole pile of kids that we took to Dinosaur National Park. Although I think the kids were initially disappointed that there weren't any live dino's walking around when we got there ha ha. We also went to the beach at Kinbrook Island so the kids got to play in the sand and water for a few hours while the adults soaked up the early Sept sun. It was a wonderful weekend.
I came back relaxed and trying not to think too much about my upcoming chemo, or the last, traumatic one.
It was Phil and I's 8th wedding anniversary that Tues. Because my chemo got pushed to the Wednesday (due to stat holiday back up) we planned on going for dinner but forgot to get sitters. Ooops. So we settled for order-in Greek food (by candlelight) after the kids were in bed. It was delicious. With chemo on the horizon and being tired from a weekend camping it was not a late night. We decided we'll just have a make up night out in future when I can enjoy a drink and taste the food lol.
Chemo the next day was my latest one yet - 3:45PM. Damelys, our dayhome, offered to watch the kids till we were done cause my mom was coming with us and my inlaws were all busy as well. So in the morning me and the kids went to 2nd Cup to have hot chocolate. Sort of a date I guess ha ha. Then I dropped them off and got prepared for the chemo to come. I wasn't feeling anxious but I was a little worried I'd get anxious when we got there, thinking about last chemo and the whole "code blue" incident. I took all my pre meds - including "my medicine" - and off me, my mom and Phil went. I hoped it would be run of the mill chemo. Esp since my mom was there. I was calm as usual and even the "chemo smell" wasn't bothering me as much (although I still had my container of cut lemons to sniff lol). Maybe chemo is also taking my olfactory sense along with my taste buds lol.
Anyways I let the nurse know about my reaction last time and that I had added Benadryl to my list of pre meds. I was feeling kinda drowsy at this point. She hooked me up for the first 15 minute "test phase" (they drip it slower into you to make sure you don't react) I felt better when she reassured me "ah you'll be fine now! Shouldn't have any more reactions after that last one". She obviously meant what she said cause she left us and just gave me the call bell incase of issues. I chatted with my mom and Phil and Maureen came to visit again as well (Andrea's mother in law). I think she's my good luck charm - all my chemos have been run of the mill except the 2 she couldn't come by for - the last one and the one I got sick at. So I asked her to clear her schedule for my last chemo to ensure she makes an appearance for that one too! (She works in the cardiac department at Foothills Hospital - which is, for those who don't live here - attached to Tom Baker).
The nurse came back after my 1st 15 minutes and turned it up and on for the remaining 45 minutes, which also passed without incident! I was glad - I didn't want any excitement for this chemo! The last one will last me the rest of my life.
On the way home I couldn't keep my eyes open. After 7 rounds of chemo apparently I'm a lightweight when it comes to Benadryl lol. Go figure its the off the shelf meds- that effect me so, and not the bio-hazardous drugs they are injecting me with!!
I wish I could say the next few days were uneventful. Well, I guess I can say they were kinda uneventful. But pretty painful. Although I should clarify the next day - while I was still taking the chemo pre meds - I felt fine. I thought I had made it through round 7 without too much fuss. Silly me.
Friday I was a bit off and not feeling great but by Saturday I was cranky as all hell. Like it was probably funny in hindsight how incredibly cranky I was. Maybe. Except for maybe Phil who may or may not have gotten snapped at more than a few times. But maybe he can see the humour in it now...kinda like the "Key Incident". Ok, maybe don't mention Saturday to him either...
The Headache had started. And I just felt off. I think honestly it was a combo of 24hrs of pain starting and the steroids which put me in such a foul mood. I actually made a comment to Phil about our dog that was "offside".
"I always felt sorry for Daisy that dogs have such a short life. Now I wonder if she'll outlive me." He was not too happy with me. I don't blame him. But I really was thinking that. Although maybe I should have kept it to myself. My mom came with me to the mall - it seemed like all of humanity were annyoing me lol My mom just listened to me vent and seemed to understand. I am so lucky to have her as my mother.
It was Andrea's birthday party that night and I had no idea how I'd fare. We ended up staying till 9:30 but I was feeling pretty rough by then. It was nice seeing everyone though. And I got to hold her sister in law Leah's 7 week old baby boy. I can't tell you how incredibly soothing that was. I almost cried when they first put him in my arms. My life these days - esp chemo week - is many things dark and scary. But this little guy was beautiful. And sweet. And sleeping so peacefully. I think I held him for over 30 minutes. Maybe longer. I could feel the crankiness evaporate. It was really something. I was thinking "Buddy, you and I have the weakest immune systems here. You are safe in my arms cause I will protect both of us from germs". Most kids I'm a little leery of these days since they tend to be little petri dishes. But I was not leery of Kasen - he was in a similar boat as me and it was strangely nice to feel like I wasn't alone. I did not expect that ha.
By that night the hot flashes felt like they were coming one after the other. When a hot flash starts (for me - side effect from chemo putting my body into menopausal state - ya I know keeps getting better and better eh??) my whole head feels like its got little beads of sweat (it doesn't) and my face and head feel like they've been ignited from the inside. With a blowtorch. Then my torso follows suit. It only lasts a few minutes and during the day they don't bother me so much, but man, having one of those suckers at night is NOT fun! Covers off. Covers on. Covers off. Covers on. So you can imagine how well I sleep these days. With FEC I slept like 10-12 hrs - like a log - on chemo week. Different drug and pre-menopausal state, I know. But I'm almost thinking back wistfully to the nausea days...
And then Sunday hit. Oh Sunday. I woke up just aching. Everywhere. Like mostly my joints...all of them (that's quite the feat!) The Headache was worse. When I stepped out of bed, it hurt to walk. I mean the bottom of my feet hurt when they touched the ground. (Oh and the joints hurt too as I moved.) I think I looked like a 90 year old woman as I hobbled to the bathroom.
I should have known it was gonna be a rough day when I started to cry in the shower. I thought it was just a release from all the crankiness the night before but now I think it was from the constant pain I was in.
Phil suggested a Costco run to get outta the house and for some retail therapy. Sounded like a good idea. I suggested 2nd Cup stop on the way as a treat. My usual chemo week treat.
So there we were, driving along the highway, almost at the Okotoks turn off, when I suddenly felt like I was gonna be sick. It was a bit of a surprise feeling - I remember thinking "am I feeling nauseous?? No, I don't get nauseous on docetaxel..." Then I told Phil "I think you have to pull over". To his credit he didn't even blink at this ridiculous request as we were doing 110 km/hr. "Like now?" he asked. "Ya, now would be good".
He came to a stop pretty fast - I opened the van door and sort of stepped down (the side of the road was inclined downwards) and then fell to my knees. Almost immediately the whole world started to spin. And then a hot flash started. I kinda wondered if I was dying! Or maybe hoped I was. So I stripped off my hoodie and hat. Yes, on the side of a busy highway. Thank God that's all I stripped down to! I literally got on my knees and put my fingers in the grass and held on! Lord knows what passing cars were thinking - I couldn't open my eyes cause I was trying very hard not to be sick and not fall off the world at the same time! Then my actions got stranger still - I laid down! But it felt better at that time. At some point I muttered to Phil to call my mom. He was still in the van with the kids (he couldn't leave them in there on side of highway!) my van door was open and I was on the grass below the open door. Had police been going by I have no idea what Phil would have said. Luckily (or sadly) no one stopped. I have no idea how long I was laying there. Talking was too hard so I just waited till I felt it pass.
Then I got up - slowly - got in the van and asked Phil to take me home.
My mom met me there and Phil took the kids and went back to Costco so I could rest. I spent the rest of the day on the couch. I wondered later if that was "normal" chemo badness, or "call chemo line" badness. Because the dizziness stayed away I assumed normal. I have to say it scared me pretty good. Anything I tried to do for the rest of the day (which wasn't much) required major effort. I'd say that day rivals the day after my 2nd FEC round when I also spent the day on the couch. (which was when my mom suggested my "other medicine" cause of how much of rough shape I was in). Phil and the kids tried to lift my spirits by bringing me home my favorite bouquet of flowers - red roses. They did help a little.
I sincerely hope to not relive that same experience again. Esp not on the side of a highway lol. It's my 3rd dose of Docetaxel. Like FEC, my side effects are lasting longer and getting worse with each round.
So you could say I'm a little apprehensive for my next, though final, round. My Fundraiser -These Boobs Were Made For Walking - is the Saturday before my last chemo - perfect timing to get me distracted and pumped for it to be over.
Cause I am so very ready for chemo to be done.
7 down guys - 1 to go!!
with them I'm just me - not canser girl. It's so nice (although they do listen to me vent or rant about whatever chemo/canser related issue may be aggravating me at the moment lol)
Bobbi and Eric were troopers in a tent! Luckily the weather held so it made for a great weekend. My In laws brought our nephews with them so we had a whole pile of kids that we took to Dinosaur National Park. Although I think the kids were initially disappointed that there weren't any live dino's walking around when we got there ha ha. We also went to the beach at Kinbrook Island so the kids got to play in the sand and water for a few hours while the adults soaked up the early Sept sun. It was a wonderful weekend.
I came back relaxed and trying not to think too much about my upcoming chemo, or the last, traumatic one.
It was Phil and I's 8th wedding anniversary that Tues. Because my chemo got pushed to the Wednesday (due to stat holiday back up) we planned on going for dinner but forgot to get sitters. Ooops. So we settled for order-in Greek food (by candlelight) after the kids were in bed. It was delicious. With chemo on the horizon and being tired from a weekend camping it was not a late night. We decided we'll just have a make up night out in future when I can enjoy a drink and taste the food lol.
Anyways I let the nurse know about my reaction last time and that I had added Benadryl to my list of pre meds. I was feeling kinda drowsy at this point. She hooked me up for the first 15 minute "test phase" (they drip it slower into you to make sure you don't react) I felt better when she reassured me "ah you'll be fine now! Shouldn't have any more reactions after that last one". She obviously meant what she said cause she left us and just gave me the call bell incase of issues. I chatted with my mom and Phil and Maureen came to visit again as well (Andrea's mother in law). I think she's my good luck charm - all my chemos have been run of the mill except the 2 she couldn't come by for - the last one and the one I got sick at. So I asked her to clear her schedule for my last chemo to ensure she makes an appearance for that one too! (She works in the cardiac department at Foothills Hospital - which is, for those who don't live here - attached to Tom Baker).
The nurse came back after my 1st 15 minutes and turned it up and on for the remaining 45 minutes, which also passed without incident! I was glad - I didn't want any excitement for this chemo! The last one will last me the rest of my life.
On the way home I couldn't keep my eyes open. After 7 rounds of chemo apparently I'm a lightweight when it comes to Benadryl lol. Go figure its the off the shelf meds- that effect me so, and not the bio-hazardous drugs they are injecting me with!!
I wish I could say the next few days were uneventful. Well, I guess I can say they were kinda uneventful. But pretty painful. Although I should clarify the next day - while I was still taking the chemo pre meds - I felt fine. I thought I had made it through round 7 without too much fuss. Silly me.
Friday I was a bit off and not feeling great but by Saturday I was cranky as all hell. Like it was probably funny in hindsight how incredibly cranky I was. Maybe. Except for maybe Phil who may or may not have gotten snapped at more than a few times. But maybe he can see the humour in it now...kinda like the "Key Incident". Ok, maybe don't mention Saturday to him either...
The Headache had started. And I just felt off. I think honestly it was a combo of 24hrs of pain starting and the steroids which put me in such a foul mood. I actually made a comment to Phil about our dog that was "offside".
"I always felt sorry for Daisy that dogs have such a short life. Now I wonder if she'll outlive me." He was not too happy with me. I don't blame him. But I really was thinking that. Although maybe I should have kept it to myself. My mom came with me to the mall - it seemed like all of humanity were annyoing me lol My mom just listened to me vent and seemed to understand. I am so lucky to have her as my mother.
It was Andrea's birthday party that night and I had no idea how I'd fare. We ended up staying till 9:30 but I was feeling pretty rough by then. It was nice seeing everyone though. And I got to hold her sister in law Leah's 7 week old baby boy. I can't tell you how incredibly soothing that was. I almost cried when they first put him in my arms. My life these days - esp chemo week - is many things dark and scary. But this little guy was beautiful. And sweet. And sleeping so peacefully. I think I held him for over 30 minutes. Maybe longer. I could feel the crankiness evaporate. It was really something. I was thinking "Buddy, you and I have the weakest immune systems here. You are safe in my arms cause I will protect both of us from germs". Most kids I'm a little leery of these days since they tend to be little petri dishes. But I was not leery of Kasen - he was in a similar boat as me and it was strangely nice to feel like I wasn't alone. I did not expect that ha.
By that night the hot flashes felt like they were coming one after the other. When a hot flash starts (for me - side effect from chemo putting my body into menopausal state - ya I know keeps getting better and better eh??) my whole head feels like its got little beads of sweat (it doesn't) and my face and head feel like they've been ignited from the inside. With a blowtorch. Then my torso follows suit. It only lasts a few minutes and during the day they don't bother me so much, but man, having one of those suckers at night is NOT fun! Covers off. Covers on. Covers off. Covers on. So you can imagine how well I sleep these days. With FEC I slept like 10-12 hrs - like a log - on chemo week. Different drug and pre-menopausal state, I know. But I'm almost thinking back wistfully to the nausea days...
And then Sunday hit. Oh Sunday. I woke up just aching. Everywhere. Like mostly my joints...all of them (that's quite the feat!) The Headache was worse. When I stepped out of bed, it hurt to walk. I mean the bottom of my feet hurt when they touched the ground. (Oh and the joints hurt too as I moved.) I think I looked like a 90 year old woman as I hobbled to the bathroom.
I should have known it was gonna be a rough day when I started to cry in the shower. I thought it was just a release from all the crankiness the night before but now I think it was from the constant pain I was in.
Phil suggested a Costco run to get outta the house and for some retail therapy. Sounded like a good idea. I suggested 2nd Cup stop on the way as a treat. My usual chemo week treat.
So there we were, driving along the highway, almost at the Okotoks turn off, when I suddenly felt like I was gonna be sick. It was a bit of a surprise feeling - I remember thinking "am I feeling nauseous?? No, I don't get nauseous on docetaxel..." Then I told Phil "I think you have to pull over". To his credit he didn't even blink at this ridiculous request as we were doing 110 km/hr. "Like now?" he asked. "Ya, now would be good".
He came to a stop pretty fast - I opened the van door and sort of stepped down (the side of the road was inclined downwards) and then fell to my knees. Almost immediately the whole world started to spin. And then a hot flash started. I kinda wondered if I was dying! Or maybe hoped I was. So I stripped off my hoodie and hat. Yes, on the side of a busy highway. Thank God that's all I stripped down to! I literally got on my knees and put my fingers in the grass and held on! Lord knows what passing cars were thinking - I couldn't open my eyes cause I was trying very hard not to be sick and not fall off the world at the same time! Then my actions got stranger still - I laid down! But it felt better at that time. At some point I muttered to Phil to call my mom. He was still in the van with the kids (he couldn't leave them in there on side of highway!) my van door was open and I was on the grass below the open door. Had police been going by I have no idea what Phil would have said. Luckily (or sadly) no one stopped. I have no idea how long I was laying there. Talking was too hard so I just waited till I felt it pass.
Then I got up - slowly - got in the van and asked Phil to take me home.
I sincerely hope to not relive that same experience again. Esp not on the side of a highway lol. It's my 3rd dose of Docetaxel. Like FEC, my side effects are lasting longer and getting worse with each round.
So you could say I'm a little apprehensive for my next, though final, round. My Fundraiser -These Boobs Were Made For Walking - is the Saturday before my last chemo - perfect timing to get me distracted and pumped for it to be over.
Cause I am so very ready for chemo to be done.
7 down guys - 1 to go!!
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