"Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost

Sept 26, 2014

Chemo is done. The last few days as my body is recovering from my last dose, that's what I keep reminding myself. Chemo is done.

Thursday after taking Daisy for a 30 minute walk I set up shop on my couch. First time I've done that since treatment began. It was my first day off pre-chemo drugs so my emotions were a bit all over the map. And for once I was gentle on myself. Along with setting up on the couch, I ordered in food! For lunch. And then ate it on the couch while I watched a movie. It was kinda nice actually...

I was doing well, and then the admittance nurse from Rockyview Hospital called to go over the pre-surgery stuff.

Me: "So there's a date booked for my sugery?"
Nurse: "Oh yes, it's booked for Oct 23".
Me: "Oh".

She went through all the info I needed as to where to go, what time and what number to call to get my surgery time (I'll only find out the afternoon before...) and went over my whole medical history. I answered all her questions and hung up the phone. 

I sat thinking "This is really happening. It's booked. The countdown has started."

Then I cried.

I cried for the last 6 months of battle.

I cried for the breasts I never completely loved but always thought I'd have.

I cried for the decisions I've had to make that may be right, but also have been so damn hard, and sometimes feel so unfair.

I cried tears of relief that the most gruelling part is behind me, but knowing the biggest emotional battle has just begun.

It felt good to let it all out. Afterwards I texted some of my friends the surgery date. I may have cried a little more.

And then I got up and went to pick up the kids. It was a strange kind of day.

One chapter of my journey closed, and another has begun.