"Chasing Angels or Fleeing Demons, Go To The Mountains". - Jeffrey Rasley

June 8, 2014

So our plans to get away overnight in the mountains were thwarted by my pretty significant fatigue this last week. I just had no energy. Well, I mustered up enough to start running to get ready for my 5K in Oct (3 runs in and so far its...tolerable...I guess...ug) Actually, to be honest running was one of the few times I didn't feel tired this week, and for about half hour to an hour afterwards. It actually gave me energy...Who knew?? 

But getting the energy to ready the trailer was not in the books. The docs say week 1 - acute symptoms, week 2 - immense fatigue (cause all your blood counts drop) then week 3 - back to normal before they dose you again. Well, I think my counts drop late (technically they can drop anywhere between day 7-14 after chemo) I think mine drop day 13 or there abouts cause the bone deep fatigue started last Sunday and I was half as tired by Friday, and then back to normal by Saturday. I'll be tracking it to see if I'm right, but I vaguely remember being tired in my third week after my first round too. 

So we just went up to Bobbi and Eric's cabin in Kananaskis for the day. Wow! What an awesome spot!! And I was so happy to find myself amongst the mountains once again the weekend before my next round of chemo. 

Aside from great company (and a MacGyver of the forest - give Eric a toothpick and you have no worries - even with grizzlies in the area lol) breathtaking beautiful views and the crisp fresh air, we saw a grizzly on the side of the road!! 

Like a LIVE one! 

It was just a little guy(ok, little for a grizzly - he was probably bigger than me) I think only a few years old. Eric mentioned it should still be with its mother but they think something happened to the mom. It was sure something seeing one up close! I'm very glad however that it was from the vehicle and not while we went for our walk after supper to the (half dry) lake at the bottom of their cabin...I'm pretty sure everyone could outrun me so that wouldn't be good lol...

Speaking of the lake, they held back the water (from the upper lake via dam) cause I think they are trying to avoid the same devastation from the flood last year...I can't believe its been almost a year already...The province is still recovering. It's kinda strange that last summer my sole purpose was helping in flood recovery, and this summer its trying to beat a killer in my own body...
You really never know what life has in store for you. 

Although, should we flood again this summer (I don't think they are predicting that but they are watching the snow melt in the mountains with an eagle eye) you can bet canser is not going to stop me from jumping in if it's needed...maybe not going into mold filled homes again - I'm not that crazy with my immune system being non-existent - but in whatever capacity I can help I will.

Anyways being in the mountains was great. The kids had a blast! And I even got to try my hand at using a sling shot...not that I could actually hit anything (no, not animals, dangling beer cans). Phil, Eric and "competitive Bobbi" (lol) all hit the cans multiple times - I tried to pull the canser card but they weren't buying it ha ha...

The kids biked up and down the road , played soccer and checked out all the various swings and nearby brush...They loved every minute! So did we...Bobbi and I decided there will be a mid-week girls night in my future...So heads up Liz! (and possibly any of my SOS girls who have an extra day or two vacation...) We can add a few cougars to the mountains :) 

Tomorrow I see my oncologist who I haven't seen in 6 weeks (last chemo fell day after stat) So I have some questions...My eyes the last 2 weeks have been watering like crazy. I (kinda) joked to Phil "I hope I'm not going blind". Then I wondered if maybe my eyelashes started falling out (since they block all kinds of stuff from going into your eyeballs). But how often do you look carefully at your eyelashes?! So I have no idea...

The muscles in my left forearm (top and bottom) have been sensitive to the touch since my last treatment (not even the same arm they put the drugs into) Like it hurts to pull long sleeves up my arm. There was also a red section on my vein the first week so not sure if the drugs irritated the vein, the muscle(s) or both. Another question for the doc...

Chemo is a very strange world. You kinda take alot of things in stride. I actually found myself wondering if the chemo (that appears to be working) was actually making me blind , would that be enough reason to stop? Is giving up your sight a fair enough trade off for your life? (I have no idea by the way if blindness or eyes being affected long term is an actual side effect, but it got me thinking).

On a lighter note, as I swatted a mosquito away today, I also wondered if a mosquito would die from biting me within 72 hrs of chemo?? If its toxic enough to irritate veins in a creature my size, I'm sure it would do damage to a mosquito?? Or maybe they would sense (or smell??) it and not come near me?

B.C. (before canser) I never wondered about any of these things...

I'm a little more apprehensive for this dose given how nauseous the last one made me but I'm trying to focus on the canser fighting abilities rather than the side effects. And all those chemo pros I've spoken to told me every dose was different so I'm hoping the last one was an anomaly.

Guess I'll find out...

Oh and there were some pretty awesome Silver Linings this week that I'll put in a future blog (likely this week if I need to focus on the good stuff lol)