"Impossible Is Not a Declaration. Its a Dare" - Muhammad Ali

June 4, 2014

So I may have mentioned my "distaste" for my current veggie infused diet...(and by diet I don't mean as in weight loss, I mean as in the food I consume)

It's been hard and challenging and a huge learning curve. I've discovered veggies I didn't know existed and feel like I eat more spinach than Popeye.

Months before I was diagnosed, I started trying to lose some weight and get back into some sort of shape that wasn't round. I've never been obsessed with the numbers on the scale. My weight though has a "sweet spot" that it likes to stay at.

Or it did until I had kids...with Emmy the weight came off pretty quick...but with Ethan I lost a little, and then nothing...

Before Christmas I got on the scale. Canser must have made me crazy, cause before I would never have posted publicly what I weigh...And the number on the scale was a number I've never been at before pregnancy. 

It read 146lbs.

I'm 5ft nothing, and even with my somewhat stocky frame, that's high!! My "fat" clothes were tight - not good!

So that's why I started at the gym (at work) and Zumba. Was going three times a week. Then after Christmas, I started going five times a week. Even signed up for an intense circuit class. My friends Emma and Stacy came with me to a few then signed up too! The guys at work used to tease me after classes cause I'd be a red tomato face for the afternoon. They knew how hard a class was by my shade of red.

But the damn scale still read 146. I was "kinda" watching what I ate. I figured the insane exercise would cover me. After a while I started to wonder if the scale was broken cause I could start to see toning, but the number stuck. By February I started refusing to weigh myself. It was so un-motivational.

In the last few months (starting prior to diagnosis) people motioned how I looked like I was starting to lose some weight. Then I started eating all these crazy greens and cutting out pretty much all bad stuff.

No fast food (at all - torture!!). No processed stuff (including chips etc). Hardly any bread. Pretty much no dairy (except little bits of cheese - cheese is my weakness...).

And imagine my immense surprise when I got on the scale on Sunday and looked at the new number.

130.2 lbs. 

I got off and back on three times...I thought maybe it really was broken! 130 (ish) happens to be the weight my body is happy at. In the past getting to less than that was very difficult. I'm healthy at this weight but by no means "skinny".

To be honest, when people told me it looked like I lost weight after I was diagnosed, it hit a nerve. I didn't feel sick so I sure as hell didn't want to look sick. Losing weight is something I was worried about with chemo. Like, losing all my weight...

But with my radical diet change, it makes sense that I'd shed some extra (unhealthy) weight. I haven't done that much hardcore exercise, just walking almost every day and Zumba now and again. And I feel good. I look good too - and I don't mean body shape - I mean I have colour on my cheeks. Lots of people that have seen me since starting chemo say in a surprised voice "you don't even look tired". I'm not sure if as we go along the cumulative chemo effects will make me look sallow, but I truly believe the exercise and healthy diet are huge reasons for the "non-sick" look..and the 16lb weight loss!!!

And no, it's not cause of canser or chemo...I've been on "scale strike" since sometime in Feb so its been almost 4 months since I weighted myself. 16lbs in 4 months is not what I'd call drastic. I'm happy to say I'm thrilled with the new, healthier number. 

And yes Kimmy - we can work on keeping me here (although another 5 lbs would be OK too lol) 

Yesterday I did my first "training" run. I used an app called Get Running. It's a couch to 5k app for people who aren't runners (understatement for me). It was a 28 1/2 minute session, with a warm up and cool down. I ran 8 minutes (broken up amongst brisk walking) and didn't perish or have to radio Phil to come rescue me. So I guess that's a good start...You go out three times a week for 9 weeks and follow all its prompts for when to run, when to walk. Not sure how my chemo weeks will affect my training, but I'll figure that out when it comes (next week...) Maybe running will help lesson the side effects. Here's hoping.

The shoes fit like a dream. Every time my feet hit the pavement I feel like I'm getting one up on the ol canser. Like I'm flashing it the bird with every step. Makes me happy.

Me and my mom went for an hour and half walk today. Part of that was uphill - and it felt great!

I have been feeling pretty tired today and yesterday but I felt great walking today and running yesterday. I have a small boost of energy afterwards, which is great.

I've started adding the protein shake to my smoothies and it tastes great! I think I need to start adding some veggie juices (homemade) to my days on top of the smoothies. The juice and smoothies are always above what I eat for meals. 

A year ago, even 6 months ago, if you told me I'd be training for a 5k, eating like a vegetarian/vegan while fighting for my life I would have laughed. Ya right. No way I could ever do that. 

But I am. So if I can be so presumptuous as to give a piece of advice to anyone out there thinking there's changes in their lives "they could never do", let me tell you - YOU CAN! 

Anyone who knows me , knows I am in NO WAY any kind of closet health junkie. I love(d) fast food. Red Meat. Booze. Hate(d) running (jury's still out on that one...)

And here I am training through chemo. If I can do it, anyone can. Trust me!! I am your average, working mom. But life threw me a huge curve ball so I initially put my mind to it cause I had no other choice. 

And then as I heard about all kinds of amazing feats others who are battling this disease are accomplishing, I asked myself "what's your excuse?".

Truth is, I didn't have one. So here I am.

I got a message yesterday that all you LTM graduates will be interested in. It was from Mrs Cocking. She told me that my decision to run the 5K inspired her to walk or run 5K in Two Mo on the day of the race. 

I inspired someone to run????

I cried...(I know, but they were happy tears)

And so her message also inspired me and added to my determination to train no matter what. If I can't run on chemo days, I can certainly walk. And then pick up where I left off once I'm able to run again.

You are all my champions. But if I can be someones champion in return, then I will gladly accept. 

So Mrs Cocking you have 1 fan across the country who will be cheering you on from now till race day. You will be in my thoughts as I cross that finish line. Even if its in a wheelbarrow...