“The Struggle Ends When The Gratitude Begins.” ~Neale Donald Walsch

June 16, 2014

After a loooooooooooong chemo week, time to focus on all those Silver Linings from the last couple of weeks...

First off, my two nephews, Kaedyn and Ryder, shaved their heads a couple weeks ago. In support of me, their aunty. Kaedyn's friend, Owen (who's mom Dani is the lovely lady who cut my hair) shaved it as well! When Andrea sent me the pic of Kaedyn (he did it earlier in the week) I cried. 

I know - seems like pretty standard reaction from me these days. But it's not cause I'm just 'emotional'. It's cause every week there are extraordinary acts of support & love that keep catching me off guard. And this time it was from my 8 year old nephew. His 5 year old brother. And their 6 year old friend. 

My young, compassionate boys. 

Acts like that always give me hope about the next generation. Kaedyn has always been my 'old soul'. We have a special bond. Some of the things that come out of his mouth are years older than his young age. So I'm not surprised - Kaedyn has a huge capacity for compassion. And he's leading by example - one I'm so touched his brother and his friend decided to follow (although after seeing all 3 pics Emmy has flat out refused to go anywhere near a hairdresser - everyone she sees getting a 'haircut' lately comes back with a shaved head lol) 

MILF asked if she could come by- then dropped off a care package. She got me my first vegan cookbook - Oh She Glows - (Kimmy - we can try some recipes from here!!) She also got me a 1 year subscription to Clean Eating - which is chalk full of recipes and good food ideas!! What an awesome, unique gift! She also baked some homemade granola bars and then her office and First Capital raised $777 in my name for the Cure Foundation!! I was blown away!! Then just this weekend she got in touch again to drop off a casserole cause she figured I wasn't feeling so hot this week....Do you see why I love this girl?? (ha and my kids love her too...and her boyfriend Scott...or Uncle Skeeter as they refer to him for some bizarre reason bahahahaha) 

Our neighbour Erin read about my wanting to run with weights and dropped by some 1lb wrist weighs for me to try. She thought 2lbs would be a bit too much and I think she was right lol. I'm lucky to have a more experienced runner who lives 2 doors down looking out for me :)

My other friend Bo came by a few weeks ago with a HUGE, beautiful bouquet of flowers for me!!! They made me smile just looking at them and smelling them everyday...and her friend who makes (cool) hats made me a gorgeous one for cool days - I love it. I wore it today! And on the weekend when I walked Daisy to keep my bald head nice and toasty. Then one day after chemo I get a text telling me there were some homemade Butternut squash soups sitting on my doorstep - that Bo made! Remembering all these amazing acts is making me choked up again.

I have no clue where people come up with all these amazing, helpful, thoughtful ideas!!

I also started to use some of the items from the box my friend Emma dropped off a few weeks back. My amazing friend put together a canser butt kicking box and filled it with all kinds of stuff I need to fight...bath salts, herbs, oils, nuts....And it was all labelled as to why each item was in there and how it would help me fight. I used the bath salts two nights ago when I was particularly sore from chemo. Like physically beat up. It was heaven....

And surprises come in the mail too!! Like almost every week!! 

Bridget (from BC...the very same who sent me my beautiful tea cup...) sent me a gorgeous "strength" necklace that I wore in my 'wig debut' pics. I love it Bridge. My mom's friend Marlene who lives in Ont (and follows my blog - HI Marlene!) sent me a Breast canser Survivor's book full of inspirational stories. It just appeared in her building, pretty much brand new and she took it as a sign that it was meant for me of all people. So she mailed it out to me! 

There is no end to the kindness of those in my life...

My crazy childhood friends Kimmy A and Kris are participating in a walk to end Women's cansers (in Quebec) They are part of the clan that I've been friends with since early elementary. They are also Zumba nuts (that's where I got the idea to try Zumba!) And they are having a Zumba Fundraiser for their walk. In my name! Wow...(If I still lived back east girls you can bet your ass I'd be Zumbaing along with you lol)

Speaking of Kris, then there's her Opa. We all grew up hanging out at Kristy's Oma and Opa's throughout elementary and as teens. He left Nazi Germany during the war and fought for the Allied side. Then he immigrated here. This tough, strong, amazing man is (sadly) a comrade in arms with me...he is fighting prostate canser. Kristy reads my blog to him. When he heard about the head shave and all that, this incredibly sweet, sweet man asked Kris if she would shave his head for him. For me. So I wouldn't be alone. 

My eyes are watering as I write that. 

I have no idea what I did to be surrounded by so many amazing human beings. This is way beyond anything I ever expected. I believe with all my heart it has been the key to my survival - the main reason the tumours are shrinking (ha well chemo may have had small part to play too lol) 

Cause I have these incredibly hard moments. Moments where moving forward just seems to require epic energy, of which I can't possibly muster. And then one of the unbelievable people in my life find the energy for me by going out of their way to be kind. And I find that one step forward. And then another. And another. Till the moment passes and I am strong again. 

I honestly, really couldn't do it without you guys. That's not lip service. Because of you all, I will beat this. That's not from any doc - I just know it in my bones. 

And how do you thank people for essentially giving you life?