Well, I made a rookie mistake on our way home from chemo on Tues.
Wasn't feeling too bad so we decided to stop by BP's for supper cause they have a glutenwise menu. Kids were having a sleepover at our amazing dayhome (kids talked about that more than camping lol) so there was no rush to get home. I had been craving a veggie pizza all day (oh boy I've come to the dark side...craving veggie pizza???) I ordered the one on gluten free crust. It has green and red peppers, mushrooms, spinach and a bit of shrimp. And to treat myself, I ordered the cactus cut potatoes.
Ug....that'll teach me.
Within half hour of eating most of the cactus cut potatoes and a couple small pieces of the pizza I was feeling nauseous. We got to Sobeys near our house, and Phil went to get some groceries while I walked home, hoping the short walk and fresh air would help. But it didn't (although it didn't make it worse either)
I don't remember much of the rest of that night, but I believe I spent most of it on the couch and in bed.
I slept most of that night but was nauseous all night long. Even the pills didn't help. (I'm on one less pill by the way - that super strong one they told me not to take anymore - I think I almost gave the chemo line nurse a heart attack when I told her I had pressure on my chest for the 3 days I took it...oops...)
Unfortunately the nausea didn't go away. I was in rough shape all day Wednesday. Didn't throw up, but kinda wished I could've if that might've helped...
Tried what I could. Walked Daisy with my Mom for like 20 or 30 minutes. That helped a bit. Had butternut squash soup (thanks for the tip Kimmy) and that helped alot. Think that might become a staple "chemo week" soup around here. Was organic, and although had some cream in it, that was organic too. I've found soups in general during chemo week extremely palatable and easy on the stomach. Thank God cause they are easy to make.
Smoothies too have been great - even if mine all look like sludge lol. I should probably start adding protein powder to them though to make sure my iron and protein intake is up. We picked up some gluten-free/vegan/dairy free ones from a health food store. I'll give it a go later today and see what its like. Can't be any worse than when you add beets to a smoothie (tastes like dirt in my opinion...)
As for the "big cut" this week, I'm generally happy with my bald head. Waking up without hair on my pillow and not being afraid to shower are huge mental reliefs. The hair being gone is nothing compared to the process of losing it. That was awful. Like really, really awful...
But I still have my moments. Like looking back to when I was "healthy" with my long hair in pictures. Or when I was feeling so rotten Wednesday and in an extreme moment of self pity crying cause on top of everything I was bald too lol. Makes me smile now cause it seems so irrelevant but at the moment it was what broke me. This journey sure is a roller coaster.
Thankfully the kids seem to like my bald head. Emmy tells me multiple times a day "Mom, I kinda like your bald head". That makes it easier. Ethan loves me no matter what I look like (so does Emmy, I know, but I can do no wrong yet in Ethan's eyes lol) Although we told Ethan he was due for a trim and he was very against any kind of cut...that could be cause Phil let Emmy shave his head the other night. Now both kids won't go near a hairdresser lol
My Mom and Phil have handled me gently the last few days, for which I am so thankful. I don't think I could have handled 'tough love' this week.
When I think back to the last few days, I'm happy I got outta bed, showered and got out for a walk. Cause what I really wanted to do was curl into a ball and stay like that all day long. But that would've felt like giving up. I need to keep up the fighting spirit even when I don't want to. So I'm kinda proud of myself , though I know it doesn't sound like much.
Yesterday I felt much better compared to the day before. I asked Phil to take the kids to dayhome cause I wasn't feeling great. But I got up and showered again. Made my smoothie. Took Daisy for a 20 min walk. Then had some chicken noodle soup. I had 2 classes at Wellspring yesterday, but I had to listen to my body and not go. Mentally that was a challenge. Felt like I was taking the easy way out. But going up there and getting nauseous cause it's too much would not have done anyone any good. And it's a 30-45 min drive, so that would not have been a fun ride home.
So I decided I needed to be gentle on myself. That is hard for me. But it's important for my recovery, so I will try.
You should be proud of yourself Cindy - you are an amazingly strong woman!
ReplyDeleteThanks Lois xox
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