The Mall

May 24, 2014

Maybe I shouldn't go to the mall unattended...No, I didn't go crazy on retail therapy. (well, ok I spent $130 on some skirts from GAP of all places but it was for 4 skirts and I'll probably wear them all summer long...so that's not really considered a "spending spree"...)

But I did leave blubbering like a baby...No not cause anyone stared. Or pointed. Or threw stones...

Because I was humbled.

I walked in the mall and first thing I see is a bunch of stationary bikes, and people going like crazy on them. I wondered if it was some kind of fitness challenge, or maybe a new gym or spin class advertising.

Then I caught the word "cancer". Better yet, "Ride to END Cancer". Immediate lump in my throat. At first it felt like my Guardian Angel's way to calm the nervousness of my first solo trip to the mall as Cindo The Bald. Or Cindo The Sick. I watched for a few minutes from up above suddenly completely comfortable in my own skin. Now if anyone looked at me, I kinda thought it might be more in solidarity than freakishness.

I carried on and went shopping. I even managed to forget I was bald in my shopping glory lol.

On my way out I grabbed a Jugo Juice and snack wrap and decided to sit by the bikers. At least I wouldn't look strange there. People might even assume I had a loved one participating.

And that's when it happened. As I was watching these complete strangers bike their hearts out to raise money for a disease I am battling, I thought "they are biking for me". Not just me, I know, but I am one of the millions of people they are biking for. And my eyes watered. And I felt this intense need to thank the bikers. So I went over and made a donation. The lady taking the donation asked "Are you participating?". I smiled and thought "sorta" but said "no, battling" and pointed to my head. I continued to tell her how I was nervous for my bald debut (solo) and my voice cracked when I got to the "and then I saw you guys...." Tears fell and I thanked her. Then I started to go by each biker and thank them. I only made it through half before I was blubbering like an idiot and decided to leave before I traumatised anyone one (or had mall police cart me away!!) 

Although I got myself under control as I went up the escalator, tears continued to fall all the way to the truck. Tears of gratitude for strangers who may never know how much of an impact they made on me today. 

Today will stay with me on the rough days. It will stay with me on the good days. But most importantly it will stay with me through to my healthy days as a reminder what strangers did for me. 

And as a reminder that my time will come to Pay It Forward.