Mama

May 11, 2014

Today being Mother's Day I want to talk about the woman who's behind the reason I have so much strength while going through my cancer challenge.

My Mom is my best friend. She is also one of the strongest people I have ever met. Sadly this strength didn't come without a cost. I mentioned when I was 2 my Dad died of pancreatic cancer. My mom was 33. He was 35. I can't begin to imagine what it must have been like to lose your spouse at such a young age. And to have a toddler to look after as well. She had quit CP when she had me, and now she had to go back. She was a single mother with a mouth to feed and bills to pay.

Then in April (he died Dec 26) they had the burial (cause the ground was frozen when he died) The same day she buried her 35 year old husband, I had a bad fever. When she got home from the cemetery (I was at home with family) the doctor called, asked if I still had my fever and then told her to get me to the children's hospital ASAP. She had just brought me to the family doctor a few days before due to what they thought was an ear infection. 

It turns out it was not an ear infection. It was worse. Much, much worse.

Doc: "Get to the children's hospital immediately. I think it might be meningitis."

My Mom was like "what the hell is meningitis??" This was pre vaccine so it wasn't a widely known disease like today - at least not to our family.

So my Mom and my Uncle Bob load me up and race to the children's. The day of my Dad's burial. We lived in a small town outside of Montreal called Two Mountains. The hospital is on the island and about a 45 minute (ish) drive. That ride must have been hell.

When they get there, the doctors take me away and the nurse says to my Mom "Ok you and your husband can come and fill out these forms". I think that was the breaking point cause my Mom says to her (in front of the whole waiting room who cringed in sadness) "This isn't my husband! I just buried him today and now my 2 year old is sick with meningitis and I don't know what that means!".

How she didn't fall apart into a sobbing heap, I don't know. But she didn't. She just carried on.

I was hospitalised for 10 days. My Mom was there from 7Am till after I fell asleep at night. The doctors told her the chance of me coming through this with nothing wrong (if I survived) were slim. I could be deaf. Blind. Paralysed. Great....

But still she carried on. I think I probably fed off her strength when I was there cause I came out of it perfectly normal (ha well my normal but that's not due to meningitis)

She lost her 18 year old brother within a year of that. Some would have been like "Ok, I'm done. But not my Mom. She carried on.

Now her babygirl is diagnosed with the same(ish) wretched disease that took her husband. Being a Mom myself now, I can relate to the terror she must have felt when we broke the news to her. Was she upset? Of course! When your only child tells you she has cancer, that is not a day you'll forget. Did she fall apart? Not my Mom. She has been by my side every step of the way. Brimming with positivity and strength. How could I then be any other way? I don't know any other way. I grew up watching her and learning you face life's challenges - whatever they may be - with Grace. And Strength. A few tears. And a Smile. 

She amazes me. Growing up I always hoped I would have even a quarter of the strength she possesses. All the strength I've needed to get me through each day since being diagnosed is entirely thanks to my Mom. 

She is my hero. She is my role model. And I couldn't ask for a better one.

Thanks Mom. I love you.

Happy Mother's Day XOXO