Singin' In The Rain

May 2, 2014

Is it strange that waking up to the rain this morning was comforting? Guess all that time spent in Ireland hasn't rubbed off yet. Rain to me is cleansing. I love the after rain smell - so fresh and clean. It's kinda fitting a few days after my 1st chemo treatment and a rough moment last night when i needed a good cry and a good friend, that I wake up to this cleansing weather. Like it's washing away the last few days worries. 

It's calming. It's perfect. Maybe my guardian Angel trying to send me another sign "it's ok. Look. Its a new day - full of possibilities"

So I'm on day 4 since my treatment. The hardest thing this week has been the enormity of the decisions I have had to make. When every decision can affect your life, and I mean directly affect the outcome of your life,  it's not always easy to know what to do. I mentioned how the "preventative" pills they gave me made me feel worse than any of the chemo side effects. But I had great fear on how I'd feel if I didn't take them. 

Not that surprising I guess since this is my first time dealing with cancer ha. And it's an 'unknown" which has kinda been my kryptonite.

I also have a cough. I've had it for the last few weeks before treatment. Nothing nasty. Dry & maybe cough a couple times a day at best. But it was a little congested (just in AM) the last few days, so it was making me a bit nervous. Trying to add vitamin C rich foods to my diet. I'm seriously considering a regular vitamin C supplement - they (doctors) scare you about high dose vitamin C interfering with chemo - but I'm just thinking about the regular, normal daily supplement just till I kick the cold. I'm open to any other cold tips if you have any. I can't take echinacea (due to chemo) I don't have a runny nose and not much daily congestion, but I would feel better if it was gone before it has a chance to become an infection. That wouldn't be good. And may interfere with my May Long plans to camp...

Lofty goal, I know, but my counts (blood) should be highest (since my next treatment will be that Tues) and as long as it's not cold and rainy, doc said go for it! (and by camping i mean in a trailer - with heating - so not really roughing it lol)

There's a few other pain in the butt things - my hands are getting dry from all the washing and sanitizing.  I've been using a combo of coconut oil and some Rocky Mountain Soap Company Avocado hand butter. My tootsies are a bit dry too so will have to start moisturizing them multiple times a day. Now would be a great time to have a good moisturizer/masseuse on hand....maybe I can bribe the kids...

I also have to be careful of mouth & throat sores. Sorry if that's "too much info". I don't have any but I'm being proactive and rinsing and gargling my mouth with club soda like 8 or more times a day. Whatever it takes. It's not too bad really.

Constipation is also a pretty common chemo side effect. So trying to eat easy on the tummy stuff (to avoid nausea) while also making sure to include as much fiber rich food as I can (to avoid other issues)...thank God for Kimmy. She gets so many random nutrition related texts about this new food world I've entered...And she always finds me an answer. 

And then there's this damn measles outbreak in the city. Like REALLY?? 

Leave it to me to get cancer and chemo treatment in the midst of that....sigh...I know my mom always said I had a flare for drama but this is a bit much - even for me!! I'll feel better when there's no new cases.  Sadly that may mean not seeing people I'd really like to see cause I can't mess around with exposure. 

It could kill me. 

Heavy, i know, but true.  There's always skype...And I don't plan on having to stay confined within the 4 walls of my house for the next while. However, big crowds aren't my thing right at this moment. I'll just have to find balance between the two.

Sometimes it feels like a million battles a day. But I'm trying. You just gotta do the best you can. Everyday. And have faith. Never lose faith or hope.

Speaking of hope, did I mention i woke up starving today?? Good sign! I was laying in bed absolutely craving the gluten free pizza we made last night. Touch of cheese, red and yellow peppers, zucchini and spinach. I had a few pieces of it and it was heaven..Just the thought of it is making my mouth water again. Far cry from the pepperoni pizza I used to enjoy...but it was fulfilling.

One thing i learnt from 2 pregnancies with bad morning sickness is whatever you crave is usually safe. As long as you don't wolf it down lol.

I also don't have to take any pills today!! I just have some "if needed" anti nausea pills that I can take at my own discretion. Very happy about that! I'm hoping today is a good day.

I did mention right at the start of my post about needing a good cry last night. Yup, had a good cry to release the stress of the week. Slept great. Kimmy was on receiving end  and was just what I needed - so thank you girl from the bottom of my heart. But I still felt strong. Crying didn't make me feel less strong - quite the opposite - felt like the perfect way to release those negative stresses from the week in a healthy way, if that makes any sense at all.

And then to wake up to rain...Was a perfect morning.