March 31, 2014
In Doctor's office:
"So, it's not good news"
Time slows down. Like really sloooooooooows doooooooooown. I can feel the cold spear of fear in my heart.
"The preliminary results from your lymph node came back and it confirms its...breast cancer..."
TIME STOPS.
In my head: Breathe. Just keep breathing. Ok I'm breathing. Shit! Phil is upset...he's really upset! Hey....why aren't I upset?? Ok it must be shock - she just told me I have the "Big C" and I'm....wondering how we fix this?! Boy I must have lost it. But.....it can't hurt to ask right?
My first words after diagnosis (as Doctor is sort of saying "I know, its cancer", sigh and just sort of distraught)
"But its treatable right? There are treatments?"
That snapped her out of it as she went on about all the amazing different treatment plans and how Calgary was cutting edge for cancer treatments and how the survivor rate is so high blah blah blah
I kinda feel like I'm on Survivor and I have killer boobs, only not the kind they typically mean...and the prize is life, not money :)
She tells me we'll get call next day with appointment from Breast Clinic (for appointment with surgeon - HOLY CRAP Surgeon?!) and things will likely move very fast.
Ok.
She's also sneaking lots of looks at me, probably waiting for me to freak out. I haven't cried. I calmly leave.....which likely perplexed her even more. Guess I'm a perplexing kind of woman ;)
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