The Lump

March 15, 2014

For me St Patrick's Day is like my adopted Canada Day. I love all things Irish. Visited Ireland once, lived there two more times. If I couldn't be Canadian, I'd be Irish :) The people, the culture, the scenic beauty...it's my home away from home.

So, laying in bed on the Saturday of St Patrick's weekend a few weeks ago my mind was focused on the night ahead. We had sitters (yay!) for Ethan (almost 3) and Emmy (almost 5), We were going to an Irish Pub within throwing distance from our house (literally - you can see the pub from our back deck!) We were going to be celebrating with 11 of our good friends.

Awesome!

While laying there pondering the evening ahead, I decided to do a self breast exam. I do that now and again. When you're...well, busty, its good to know what feels normal and what does not. (for all ladies reading this: DO SELF BREAST EXAMS MONTHLY! ITS YOUR BODY - KNOW IT!...ok gentle reminder done....) 

As I was running through the Guinness vs Shocktop debate in my head (which to have first) I noticed a lump in my right breast. I couldn't feel anything like it in my left breast and its about the size of a small ping pong ball. Kinda hard. Moves.

Hmmmmmmm.....

Ok so, I'm a total spaz and always worry too much. I'm sure its nothing. Going out anyways to have a good time. Which we did. A really GREAT night spent laughing pretty much all night.

Come Monday the debate was on...do i go to the doctor and possibly wait hours on end since I don't have a family doctor at the moment, or do I wait incase its menstrual related? In a sane moment I send my good friend Amber a message on Facebook (who also happens to be a family doctor) asking her opinion on if I should go or not. 

My spazzy nature won out (and i had a message from her when i got back advising no advantage in waiting - smart cookie that one ;) and on one of my favourite days of the year, (St Patrick's) I figured it would be quiet at the clinic. Went to the walk in on my own. I didn't even tell my mom. After the exam, the Doctor said "yup, you've got a lump. We'll send you for mammogram and ultrasound just to check it out"

I promptly burst into tears.

Pretty sure i caught the poor doc completely off guard - after all she didn't say anything scary. Didn't mention cancer.  Didn't even look at me funny like i might be harbouring some horrible disease. She looked a little bewildered. I was sobbing - spazzy nature was in full swing!! Next day i got a call that my mammo etc appointment was that afternoon.

I think I almost fainted.

I seriously looked for a paper bag to breath into!! Instead I called my sis in law Andrea who talked me "off the ledge". So did Phil and my mom (I was at work) Guess they are used to my spazzy nature!? Fiona (amazing woman!)  from work smartly took me for a walk and got some chamomile tea into me. I'm lucky to be surrounded by such amazing non-spazzy people :) They are my grounders in this crazy ride - and one of the first (of many) Silver Linings.