April 7, 2014
So just as the doctor said, the next day, Tuesday, the call came from nurse Suzy at the Breast Clinic (at Foothills) She is awesome! Gave me a bit more info (lump came back positive for breast cancer - d'uh) and that the next appointment with the surgeon was on Monday. She applauded my positive attitude and said because I was young and healthy they may want to do Chemo first. Best case is when they go to do surgery there's nothing left.
Inside my head: hmmmm well that sounds good. Wonder what I'd look like with no hair? Wonder if I'll loose hair from other parts of my body....might not be bad at all!.... Am I really thinking that??
After talking to her, and taking a sleeping pill at night my appetite has come back and I feel so much better with sleep! Was a bit nervous for the appointment, just cause they would have more test results back. This is some unknown again, which apparently i don't do well with ha ha. But this time it was just normal person worry, not "i cant sleep cant eat oh my gosh I'm in turmoil" kind of worry....
I honestly considered putting war paint markings on my face for our meeting LOL Like really did except I was worried the Surgeon would be offended or think I wasn't taking it seriously. I SO REGRET NOT DOING THAT and you'll see why (would have been the best story ever!)
So we get there 10 min late cause there was an accident on the way in. Does that really surprise any of you that know me - i was late for my first cancer appointment?? Ug only me. In fairness Phil and my mom were with me, so it wasn't all on me ;)
We get in to the little room. Nurse hands me a little gown. Ug....another exam (slight rise in anxiety - what if they find something new??) So we wait. And wait. And wait. 30 min or so later a young woman comes in.
"Hi I"m a student...blah blah blah....
Are you freaking kidding me?? I've been keeping it together and now a student is going to check me out??? ALONE?? Breathe...breathe.....At one point Phil asks about staging she says she doesn't know but she thinks there are 4 stages...oh mother where's that bag to breathe into!! She also mentions its her first day in the clinic...Good thing my Inner Ninja had this. I just smiled and politely answered her questions and then snapped at Phil or my mom if they asked too much cause she was stressing me out a bit lol She was fine - really - i was just not in the mood to be without an expert in the field at that moment. My poor support team had no idea how i felt - although they were probably wondering why they were getting the hairy eyeball!!
After we talk, she examines me and then she leaves. For almost an hour. Breathe....breathe.....its her first day I'm sure he's walking her through all they talked about and what they are going to talk to me. For once, I was right (or think i am they didn't say anything scary or new :)
Mr Kinda Handsome Surgeon walks in (maybe it was hero worship since my life is literally in his hands - no pressure!) and I'm immediately put at ease. He's confident, but gentle. He listens - really listens! - and doesn't talk down to any of us. He explains there are 4 treatments - Chemo, hormone therapy, Radiation and surgery. Each treatment is geared exactly for the person they are dealing with and their unique(ish) situation. He explains a bit of the history and recent research suggests. Then we talk me specifically. Its in my lump, its in 2 lymph nods. He would like to do Chemo first, then go from there for surgery options. It will be 4-6 months of Chemo - once every 3-4 weeks. By doing chemo first (which is way of future he says - in BC they pretty much mostly follow this protocol) they can make sure my cancer is responding. If it doesn't, it gives them time before surgery to try a different treatment. This way I also get some time to process this, and we will meet along the way to discuss options depending on how the cancer responds. Cause right now I tell ya, he can take both the girls thank you very much. If it comes down to boobs or life, I choose Life!! But I guess that's pretty common for women who are terrified....
He tells me I need a bone scan, blood work and CT scan. Standard Procedure. And I will hear from Oncologist in next few days and probably get appointment within next 2 weeks. Could start Chemo within a week or so of that meeting. And that although I am meeting them separately they are very much talking behind the scenes and do rounds together, so its very integrated - we just meet separately.
Gulp - more scary tests (scary as in what they are looking for!) Holy its really rolling now.
But I feel good with who's lookin after me. The surgeon's nurse, Edith, was amazing. She got me the req's for the Bone scan (next day!) and bloodwork. The CT I'll know about in next week or so. She gave us lots of info for support, and information. She is like a cancer expert(ish). She and my surgeon (now there's something i never thought id say) gave me their cards with their direct numbers and said to call anytime. WOW. I was pretty impressed. Maybe I'm easily impressed?!? They are awesome. I am happy - they are part my silver linings of that day. All those who texted, called, prayed, send good vibes, messaged etc you added to my strength - thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Now to add a bit of humour...back to the student....can you imagine the story she would have to tell of her first day if she had walked in and I was sitting there with war paint on my face?????
That image makes me laugh out loud EVERY time!!!!
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